Sylvia by Nicole Hollander for April 25, 2009

The reason the media go on so much about Michelle Obama’s toned arms is to keep from noticing her fat butt.

There! I’ve said it. Somebody had to.

I’m gathering rose garlands. I’d like a caboose exactly like Michelle’s.

The reason the media go on so much about Michelle Obama’s toned arms is to keep from mentioning her accomplished career.

Thank you, Ira.

To pschearer: You’re nuts. Michelle Obama is lovely and smart and feminine (toned arms and all).