Tarzan by Edgar Rice Burroughs for November 12, 2019

Can Tarzan escape? Or will he succumb to the foaming death? Did Brister not read the Evil Overlord Rules? Tune in next week, same ape-time, same ape-channel!

He will regret not shooting Tarzan.

Tarzan dies from boredom.

Must need quite a heavy dosage for this poison to be effective, force a gallon of goop down their throats.

Having assembled his rickety contraption of sticks and leaves and creeper, Brister hiked up his goiter, checked that his trusty pistol was still uselessly holstered, then inexplicably ambled off into the bushes to give his captives time and privacy in which to free themselves with their [Tarzan’s] steely thews and razor-sharp chin.

They would have been dead last week if he’d just shoot them.

The only thing tortuous about Brister’s plan is Brister’s monologue explaining it.

I can’t believe Tarzan didn’t attack them when they untied his hands to stake him to the ground. Your best chance of escape comes early. If a bad guy wants to relocate you, it will be to their advantage, not yours.

Karma! Once Tarzan is free, Bristers just might get a taste of his own poison.

Tarzan is just biding his time…why? Curiosity?

Of course, Brister could just cap ’em both with his gat… Nah! Way too easy!

The only way to stop Brister’s evil plan would be for Tarzan to turn his head to avoid the poison. But who would ever expect him to think of that?

I guess Brister has never watched any James Bond films (nor even a good old Austin Powers one)—these ridiculous long-drawn out murder plans never work! Even Scott Evil knew that! He kept telling his dad, the Doctor, “let me just shoot him”, but “No!”; and, of course, Austin escaped. Sad, and entirely preventable!

These Mad Scientist (and related) types always overthink what should be coldly efficient quick murder.

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