Ted Rall for April 17, 2006

Transcript:

Celebrity disease redistribution (Spokesperson Butt Rott Awareness: I was happily oblivious until my doctor told me I had butt rott. Now I've rededicated my life to spreading the word about 138,000 Americans who-) (Woman: America is tired of celebrities who learn to care about a disease only after they get it themselves. That's why Hollywood is instituting...) From now on, to give all diseases a fair shot at publicity, every celeb will be infected. (Woman: We'll continue our tradition of exempting actors with active careers.) But to reduce the current self-serving celebs may only rep another celeb's illness. (Man: Who cares about my stuff? What matters is that my friend an ex-bandmate is fighting for his life!) Best of all, the most serious diseases will be assigned to the most disposable celebs!