Texts From Mittens by Angie Bailey for December 22, 2024

Poor Mittens! #livertreats

Could be worse, it could be ‘that filthy dog’.

It’s all your fault Mittens you’re irresistable!

Drunk Patty loves you, and even more so whilst drunk.

Poor Mittens! Time to head for your bolt hole!

Did Drunk Patty kiss Earl first and then try to kiss you, Mitty?

Heck no! A kiss from Drunk Patty would be a nightmare!

Hissletoe! Love that

Poor Mittens! My heart bleeds!

The fumes make Mittens dizzy.

#PoorDrunkPatty

I’m just imagining Mitty trotting off at a brisk pace with a disgusted look on his face, chased by Drunk Patty and her mistletoe and duck lips. #GivemeakishMittyyy!!!

Stay away from me with that dead sprig of parasitic flora!