That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for November 30, 2018

“If you do say yes, will we get the chickens in the dowry?”

“Ugh! This would be disgusting enough without the red Union Suit. Good thing I have the cleaver hidden under my hat. STRIKE! QUICK!! And Granny is an expert at disposing of bodies.”

Just because I’m the devil doesn’t mean that I can’t take time off for blind dates.

“Okay; I’m proposing to you, now will you give me my hat back?”

Stephens decided to use up the economy sized tube of Crimson Lake his cousin gave him for Christmas.

“I don’t know…Are you sure you’re the Scarlet Pimpernel?”

I did not mean to use your leggings, but they just matched the outfit so well, I had to!!!

OK, you have the hat – now where did you hide my trousers

“You do think the spray tan makes me look sexier, don’t you?”

Please, doctor, you’ve got to fix my neck. I’m tired of bending over backwards to look people in the eye.

From the Tate, which owns the work: “This is a scene from The Clerk’s Tale, one of Geoffrey Chaucer’s fourteenth-century Canterbury Tales. The marquis of Saluzzo has fallen in love with a poor but beautiful peasant girl, Griselda, and is proposing marriage to her. He goes on to subject her to a series of appalling trials to test her love. But Griselda is patient and eventually wins his devotion.The background of this picture was painted from life in the kitchen of the rural lodgings that Stephens shared with his friends Holman Hunt and Dante Gabriel Rossetti, at Knole in Kent.” See https://www.tate.org.uk/art/artworks/stephens-the-proposal-the-marquis-and-griselda-n04633.

For info about the artist, the Tate sends you to Wikipedia, and so do I. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frederic_George_Stephens.

I leave the rest to the bot.

“Yes, I see.. she has her elbow on the table again.. it’s okay, Hortense, it’s okayyyyy.”

Milord was one of those/who favored panty hose/ the purple-hued/were too subdued/ and so carmine he chose..

Hey you two, hold it down, I’m trying to make a call.

Old Milford, sitting at his favorite table, has heard all this crap, many times before.

I could never marry a man with nicer legs than mine.

Well how can I say this. You see it’s the lack of size of your codpiece.

Trust me dear, I’m a doctor. You should not have a hand growing out of your hip.

A hat in the hand is worth 2 in the bush…

Kneel? You’ve got to be kidding! These are brand new tights!

The Proposal (The Marquis and Griselda): 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Frederic_George_Stephens_-_The_Proposal_(The_Marquis_and_Griselda).jpg 

(best viewed by Google Chrome which can automatically translate most pages as necessary) has info and links that point to info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

http://www.artcyclopedia.com/artists/stephens_frederic_george.html 

https://www.the-athenaeum.org/people/detail.php?ID=18 

http://www.victorianweb.org/painting/stephens/index.html 

https://www.npg.org.uk/collections/search/personExtended/mp04284/frederic-george-stephens?tab=biography 

https://archive.org/details/frederickgeorges00step/page/n9 

https://artistsathome.emorydomains.org/exhibits/show/victorian-artists-at-home/the-publication/author---editor 

all have info about this artist, perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the first URL. Some webpages say he was born in 1827, others 1828. The archive.org URL points to a book by the artist, which has 1827 in the book (I would think he knows his own birth year); but under the book pages currently has 1828 (no doubt a typo, perhaps explaining the others) next to the author’s name. Anyway, this is the first work by him used here.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2091 (November 29, 2018) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

Perhaps it’s your infidelity. “Dearest” implies there are at least three in question.

Why is she holding his hat? And what are those things scattered on the floor to the lady’s right . . . chickens?

“Listen Ginger…..You and I will make beautiful redheaded children together. But, before I marry you, I have to make sure the carpet matches the drapes.”

“Tell me honestly….. do my thighs look big in these?”

“It is because of the unitard. I can see how inadequate you really are.”

By the way, Thteve, thith ith prithee good !

Lars wants his dress back, cause he doesn’t like his skinny red legs.

“If you’ll look closer, you’ll see my unitard is crotchless. Here—give me your hand and I’ll show you.”

He’s really Captain Scarlett.

If that is your wish dear. Yes, we can do cowgirl tonight.