That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for July 15, 2019

“With some wiring, you can make it into a lamp.”

“Sniff from this censer four times a day, and leave the collar on for two weeks so you don’t lick the stitches.”

“It would’ve been worth a fortune if you hadn’t cleaned it and removed the patina.”

Oh, my spleen!

“The Maharaja swore it contains a wish-awarding genie in it, but you have to rub it in a very precise way. It comes with a no-money-back guaranty.”

“You know Franz…..if you truly want to play Spin-the-Bottle, we really need to have some women here!”

Early prototype of the SPACE NEEDLE !

And if you don’t pay for the meal and drinks I’ll shove this where the sun doesn’t shine!!!

“It’s called ’The Pre-Guillotine Collar,” gentlemen. It gives us all an idea what he’s about to look like. All right, Pierre, get up and march out there and take it like a man."

I bought it in a shop, in a far off land called Seattle.

See the point on this end? You turn it over and give it a good spin.

“RUFF” trade ?

Sure, you’re flaunting that fancy ruffed collar/ to show them you’ve many a dollar/ but then comes the drinkin’/ and the collar starts shrinkin’/ and you have to remove it to swaller….

And this item is called a “do-dad”. I have no idea whatsoever what it’s purpose is.

Reminds me of the phrasing in an Ogdred Weary book titled The Curious Sofa.

“What light through yon window breaks…” AUDIENCE MEMBER 1: I think this one man staging of Romeo and Juliet would work better if Romeo wasn’t 100 years old. AUDIENCE MEMBER 2: No it wouldn’t. AUDIENCE MEMBER 3: Pipe down! I can’t hear!

Myron the Martyr Memorabilia Merchant, trying to sell the bones of Blessed Barnabas of Baldoyle.

It’s true! It’s true! After 30+ years, you would not believe the things that patients have inserted in their 4th point of contact, couldn’t retrieve, and then have the cojones to come to a hospital ER for us to remove… Yikes!, and ‘Really?!? Seriously?!?’, is all I have to say!

Of course it’s the real Holy Grail. The knights who say ‘Neep’ told me so.

The merchant’s treasures: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Max_Gaisser_Beim_Kunsth%C3%A4ndler_1889.jpg 

(best viewed by Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most pages as necessary) has info and links that point to info about this painting.

https://davidbarnettgallery.com/artist/max-gaisser 

has about this artist, perhaps in addition to what’s indirectly pointed to by the title URL 

https://de.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Gaisser 

(again, Chrome can automatically translate). This is a different caption repeat of the only work by him used here so far. 

https://www.gocomics.com/that-is-priceless/2015/11/23?comments=visible 

has the prior caption, which while my comment is still there, with the line breaks removed, its 16 hyperlinks remain inactive. ?&@#!#%&!.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2243 (July 14, 2019) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

“It was a million-to-one shot, Doc …”

“My products are carefully tested/ and my prices have never been bested/ my integrity’s such/that I’m loved by the Dutch/ and I’m almost never arrested !”

Armageddon!

" Such a deal I got for you! "

“And if you like this, I can have a thousand made for you by tomorrow.”

“It’s been in my family for a million years, made from the rarest of metals.”

“It’s plastic!”

What do you think of the bowling trophy I just won?

Prototype hip replacement

Looks like a drop spindle.

“This was my first rattle. Isn’t it cute?”

Shark Tank 1889.

“It’s the white collar, the 2-in-1 collar – it kills both ticks AND fleas !”