That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for November 22, 2021

The picnic wasn’t as romantic as she expected.

I say it’s spinach…

“Um, are you going to eat that?”

Sylvia, this pastry remind me of you. It is sweet, puffy and soft in the middle.

O what a wondrous a thing a pastry is. It is so perfect in shape and and size. It fits just right in the hand. Is it not a miracle?

Are you sure this pace has 4.2 stars on VRBO because I don’t see any walls or roof…

“Let’s stop a while, dear, I’m tired.

We’ll drink wine, smoke up, and get wired.

And when we’re kicked back,

I’ll warn you, in fact,

your vibrator warranty’s expired."

It was three o’clock, time for Juan’s lunch, / with sangría, (Maria’s fruit punch). / Then Juan froze in mid-chew— / was a roach in his stew? / He hoped not, but what made that loud crunch?

Just in passing, that’s an empanada.

Please excuse him; he’s not being rude. / It is just that he’s not in the mood. / His expression does not show / any love for gazpacho. / Every day it’s the same Spanish food.

“Sweet heart, one of my black olives appears to be moving.”

“how he got it here in 30 minutes.” he droned on.

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Looks like a typical scene of any two people sharing a meal today. The only difference being that someone is staring into a smartphone.

o xantar agarda…

Empanada, pasty, samosa, puff, …I say no meat pie should have raisins!

“Hmm, what kind of meat is green?”

“Domino’s vobiscum!”

“The Naked Lunch” – but with clothes.

My ONE experience with Dominos was also my last. The large super-loaded (expensive) pizza was so scantily clad you could see more crust than toppings.

They’re taking a break from their chores/ and confronted by bugs by the scores/ but (spoiler alert !)/ those bugs are dessert! They’re committed insectivores!

Anxiously awaiting Papa John’s opinion.

On a Spanish hillside, far away / they wait breathless- (has he gone astray?)/the bullfight was great/ but their guest’s running late/ they’re awaiting the great Hemingway…

And then Oakland scored a second touchdown, one of the most exciting finales in football history to date, but the network had already switched over to regularly scheduled programming, and that is why everyone in New York hates you, Heidi.

They thought they would be alone/ sharing pizza – delivered by drone/ things were going so well/ until (what the Hell ?!)/ he broke his tooth on a bone..

" Carlos has always been a judgemental s.o.b. " thought Rosalinda. " He can’t even eat lunch without making some critical comment! "

Merde

Heard about a small business on a remote tropical island that had its’ items delivered by one of those large services with a contract “we’ll deliver in 7 days or delivery is free” . There was no way anything could get to that island in a week so they never had to pay for delivery.

“Needs more salt.”

…and then the fight started

Plăcintă cu vacă ?

Is that a Fez? Fezzes are Cool!

He: You thought I wanted sex? She: No,I wanted sex you oaf!

“I think I sat on a cow patty.”

“Hold on. I think I got the fortune stuck in my teeth.”

Is this Easter Pizza? The sausage tastes like haggis and we are missing a sheep.

They met by computer date:/ at first things were going great../but he hogged the whole feast/ and he gorged like a beast/ and passed gas while trying to mate..

Pizza guy had a race horse.

“I’ve invented a new food. Here, try it!

You’ll want to rush out and buy it.

There’s no ‘sell by’ date

and you’ll never gain weight,

with my chocolate-dipped cotton ball diet!"

“Oh, pop, if you only but knew.

Someone got there before you.

An American feller

named Joseph Heller …

See, I’ve read Catch-22, too."

Lunch: 

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Silvio_Fern%C3%A1ndez_Rodr%C3%ADguez-Bastos,_O_xantar,_1890,_Museo_de_Pontevedra.jpg 

has info and links that point to more info about this painting.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at 

https://thatispriceless.blogspot.com/2021/11/masterpiece-2830.html 

I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.

How can we tell it’s not dinner?

The origination of the ‘pie in the face’ joke.

On the hottest day of July,

Maria is wondering why

she let this fool suade her,

forsaking the shade, for

watching an ostrich egg fry.

Inter Dimensional Time Travel Pizza. Never late or it’s free……

Yes! Again! Your mud pies are just as good as the ones my Mom used to make!

“What do you mean you don’t see the face of Jesus in that piece of burned toast?! Why do you think I dragged it all the way out here? Look harder, Juan! It will make our fortune on e-bay.”

He had fought many bulls in his day. / Now retired, he pauses to pray. / Saying grace over lunch / he thanks God he can munch / criadillas, (bull’s testes sauté). /// Many toros he’d killed with his sword, / with a tail or an ear as reward. / Then one bull got him back / with a sudden attack. / And that’s how, in his groin, he was gored.

Maria patiently waiting her turn to use the dentures.