The Born Loser by Art and Chip Sansom for April 18, 2023

If I worked for him, I’d be looking for another job.

He couldn’t take life in his own garage.

❝ he was a hard-headed man,

   he was Brutusly handsome,

   and she was terminally pretty

   she held him up,

   and he held her for ransom

   in the heart of the cold, cold city ❞

          — the EAGLES

Oh. Well, do you think I could handle a little more money? You know, to keep our lights on and eat.

I take that as a “no”.

Nice try, there, Brutus. But, I don’t see your boss man sharing power with an assistant. He enjoys cracking the whip too much. Besides, you’ve too nice a guy to carry out his demands.

Factory workers who make tea cozies are living life in the fast lane? Who knew?

That Chief sure knows how to motivate his employees. He must have been mentored by Ebenezer Scrooge himself….

Find a job you enjoy, and you’ll have no desire for a management position. I retired in 2006 from the same job I began in 1971.

how about in reverse. :D

Nice pitch for promotion Brutus, but as The Eagles claimed, “life in the fast lane, surely make you lose your mind…”

Brutus is trying to process that comment……….

Brutus has earned some hazard pay in his weekly paychecks. Or a bribe, to keep him from suing the bossman for harassment.

softly, softly, catchee the monkey. A slow and careful way of resolving an issue or achieving some pursuit, typically when dealing with a particularly challenging or elusive person, thing, or situation. Brutus will never catchee this monkey.

Why does Brutus take all these insults? Surely, he could find another job. If he was as worthless as his boss says, he’d have been fired long ago.

Ouch!

Nice pitch, but it was a little off the plate.

Funny one! And I hate to say it but Veebs is correct this time.

Veeblefester just headed Brutus off in the passing lane…

Brutus just finished reading “How to Get Ahead in Business for Dummies” and was trying out one of their suggestions…

Brutus figured, if he gets promoted, he can go to Maui with the boss and get away from Gladys and Ramona and Wilberforce for a much needed respite, it’s worth a try…

here in japan, cops spend a lot of time cruising parking lots. no, they’re not looking for dates (as far as i know) and, yes, they have too much time on their hands, what with the general lack of crime, but why are they cruising? because they know that, for whatever reason, people commit all sorts of driving infractions in parking lots. they gotta make their monthly ticket quota, after all…

Promote him Chief, Brutus knows all the dodges so could be an asset to keep the others working instead of loafing off at the water cooler.