The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for February 16, 2021

Those sesame seed buns must get pretty swampy in the summer…talk about special sauce…

checking out his ancestry on line – what a meathead…

Not very beefy, is he?

EARWORM ALERT!

As Sam Spade said, dozens of times, “It all adds up.”

Good one!

Are those official percentages? Are they by weight? or by volume?

When did they start putting beef in it?

He’s Officer Big Mac. I remembered Mayor McCheese (and the Hamburglar and the Grimace) but not him. (looked up on Wikipedia)

Now, the people sit down to eat Big Mac

At the shopping mall.

And every bite is a massive dose

Of the cholesterol.

In your blood Big Mac congeal

Into deadly plaque.

One day a greaseball jam your valve.

Whoops! A Big Mac attack.

-John Forster, “The Big Mac Tree”

Thank you for the earworm.

=100% clogged coronary artery

what about the hamburglar?

And the French Fry Goblins (later changed to the Fry Guys because goblins have a negative connotation.

And each descendent met the same horrible fate, almost like it was a family curse ….

And it all adds up to 100%! I remember the ad well.

I think he got his grandma’s buns.

seems like the ancestry should include wheat, cow and so forth

Now they will be able to link his relative the Hamburgler to the evidence left behind at those crimes.

He got tired of hearing “Where’s the beef?” from competitors and decided to find out. Still more bun than meat, though.

Now I’ll have the jingle going through my head all day…

It was bad enough Mc Ds stole the B.Mac from Big BOY, but then….One Christmas season a Big Boy co-worker & I reworded the 12 days of Christmas to fit our menu (purely for our own amusement) a few years later Mickey D’s had it for a commercial !

okay, i’m not the only one who heard this as a jingle, right?

“You deserve a break today, so throw up and crawl away from >>>>>>>>>, we do it all for you” (I did not want to get sued)!

click here to upgrade to large account size…

Break’s over. Better go grill some suspects.

How much did they charge him for that?

I have a nostalgic fondness for the old commercials (going back over 50 years): Ronald McDonald would get a call about a new McDonald’s, and he’d rush off on his flying hamburger to be there for the grand opening. Then the local info would be displayed, so you knew when and where to go to meet Ronald McDonald in person. I met him (or a reasonable facsimile thereof) but didn’t actually see his flying hamburger.

After Officer Big Mac was done with ancestry.com, his next bit of web-surfing was to google that joke everyone’s been telling about him (just google “two obese patties” if you’re not familiar with it).

My family doesn’t have this problem. The Constables and Police kept detailed records. :>)

I totally forgot, Big Mac the Cop. Mayor McCheese, The Hamburgler, Fry-guys, and Grimace I all remember. Just blanked completely on the Irish Cop stereotype.

Forgot the soy filler.