The Elderberries by Corey Pandolph and Phil Frank and Joe Troise for March 11, 2010

go away kid.

Kid is not going to live a long, healthy life if he bugs people about their addictions.

I wanna know what surprised everyone when the General took off his helmet.

The kid didn’t get that many medals, or badges or whatever he’s got on, by going away and leaving problems alone. (Yes, I consider smoking a problem, although I’m flexible about who and what should respond to it.)

If there’s a “go away” cause to donate to, it should be to get rid of the Boy Scouts, not the boys. It’s a do-good organization, and if we don’t want the good done, we should get rid of it and just let the boys be boys.

So maybe if you do that, Marcus could hang around and take up smoking and everyone will be OK with it. (I’m not kidding, really. It’s been true for generations that very few smokers in the USA have ever taken up smoking at any other age than adolescence.)

Meanwhile, I also want to know what was under the General’s helmet when he took it off. (His underwear, Dr. Toon, is something I don’t need to know about!)

“Hey, mister! Your dog turd is on fire!”