New Adventures of Queen Victoria by Pab Sungenis for June 15, 2014

Be a good sport, Victoria. The birds need a place to sit where they can hear Elizabeth’s recitation.

Later that day, Queenie went shopping for industrial-strength shampoo.

And “Frazz” is on the same wavelength.

A dreaded sunny day So let’s go where we’re wanted And I meet you at the cemetery gates Keats and Yeats are on your side But you lose because Wilde is on mine

Spring is here, a-suh-puh-ring is here.Life is skittles and life is beer.I think the loveliest time of the year is the spring.I do, don’t you? ‘Course you do.But there’s one thing that makes spring complete for me,And makes ev’ry Sunday a treat for me.

All the world seems in tuneOn a spring afternoon,When we’re poisoning pigeons in the park.Ev’ry Sunday you’ll seeMy sweetheart and me,As we poison the pigeons in the park.

When they see us coming, the birdies all try an’ hide,But they still go for peanuts when coated with cyanide.The sun’s shining bright,Ev’rything seems all right,When we’re poisoning pigeons in the park.

Lalaalaalalaladoodiedieedoodoodoo

We’ve gained notoriety,And caused much anxietyIn the Audubon SocietyWith our games.They call it impiety,And lack of propriety,And quite a varietyOf unpleasant names.But it’s not against any religionTo want to dispose of a pigeon.

So if Sunday you’re free,Why don’t you come with me,And we’ll poison the pigeons in the park.And maybe we’ll doIn a squirrel or two,While we’re poisoning pigeons in the park.

We’ll murder them{ all }amid laughter and merriment.Except for the few we take home to experiment.My pulse will be quickenin’With each drop of strychnineWe feed to a pigeon.It just takes a smidgen!To poison a pigeon in the park.

Thanks to Tom Lehrer

when is the last time anyone really had a lazy sunday?