New Adventures of Queen Victoria by Pab Sungenis for January 25, 2015

Is it something unpronounceable or spelled in a way that your kid will have to always pronounce it and/or spell it for the next 90+ years? Does it have an apostrophe in it somewhere? Does it end in —esha? Is it a noun or vowel that has no business being a person’s name? Does it sound ridiculous with the last name? Do the initials spell a cuss word?

This test is all very well, but it still won’t stop Americans calling their kids Randy. Thankfully, because it provides the rest of us with a laugh.

Just name the kid after your favorite athlete or actor or actress.

So… not “Mxyzptlk”?

…and stay away from mineral water brands. No, the French do not name their daughters “Dasani” or “Evianne”.

Is it from something wildly popular right now that will horribly date your kid in 30+ years?

I saw a young lady named “P’trsha”, but in her parent’s defense I suspect she did that herself.

Sigourney Weaver’s given name is “Susan,” but in college she thought it too bland and called herself after a character in a novel she was reading.

Incomplete. Needs section for is the name really popular that year, and especially popular because of a tv show/movie/book. Send them to 1.

Of course, when I was a kid I had the opposite problem. I have a name very similar to the one that was much more popular for my generation, so people who didn’t know me were continually calling me by the popular name rather than my non-popular, but no less normal name. They did that even if they had my name spelled out in front of them or said in their hearing.

In fact, people STILL do this to me. My name is Christina, thank you for much, not Christine.

My favorite was does it sound good with zappa.

What’s wrong with Michael?