New Adventures of Queen Victoria by Pab Sungenis for December 26, 2020

Just text Christmas gifs.

PRABOB

Give me Slack or kill me

Fry “Bob” lightly and then stew him slowly in a closed container!

In a word, therefore – BRAISE “BOB”!!

(It’s a SubGenius™ thing.)

Belgian hens?

There’s always gift cards. Just make sure the place is still in business. (smiley face)

Which group does Bob Dobbes belong to?

You know this is a fever dream because everything arrived on time. You hear me, FEDEX, UPS?

There wouldn’t be a self-portrait of Mr. Sungenis squeezed in this, would there?

All in all, I’d rather have Bob & Doug McKenzie’s gifts.

Gift overload!

https://web.sonoma.edu/users/w/wilsonst/Courses/Math_300/Groupwork/Nos23-/GWSp34/GWSp34m1.html

Eons ago — back when computers were just a few steps away from “stone knives and bearskins” — one of my assignments in programing class was to write a program to calculate the total number of gifts the recipient in this song would receive (that is, how many partridges, how many pear trees, how many doves, how many hens, etc.)

I’m mad too, “Bob”!

JR “Bob” Dobbs!

Okay, so

12 drummers,

22 pipers,

30 lords (all a-leaping),

36 ladies dancing (presumably three LGBTQX couples),

40 maids a milking (number of cows not specified, but could be from 10 to 40 or more),

42 swans a-swimming,

42 geese a-laying,

40 golden rings,

36 calling birds,

30 “Belgian” hens,

22 turtledoves (and not the fake maid kind),

and 12 Partridges in a pear tree.

Christmas fit for a queen.

Next year you’re abandoning us… it’s like 1901 all over again.