Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for June 14, 1998

Transcript:

there's been a lot of controversy recently over the uniqueness of human speech. gorillas and chimps have been taught sign language, but many question their actual understanding of the words they use. We have here Charley, an australopithecine, which is an ape ancestor of humanity from the pliocene epoch. charley, would you like some water? i'd take some grape soda if you've got it -- just a bit of ice, if not, i'll have a beer -- anything in a tallboy... do you like bananas? what kind of condescending speciest question is that?! charley, what color is the toy alligator? that does it, you fat-frontal lobed freak! I'm outta here! There you have it -- his "speech" was unresponsive to the questions. One can only assume his answers were randomly spewed phrases the brute learned by rote. I'll have that tallboy in a bag. next: are apes' thumbs really opposable?