Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for April 15, 2000

Transcript:

The supreme court may allow the city to close up our less expression-oriented competitors, but let's see 'em try to shut down... Fat Earl's "Expressive Conduct" Nudie Shack We sensually imbue our lovely ladies' erotically expressive conduct with the conveyance of particularized messages so that it's brought squarely into the bosom of PROTECTED FIRST AMENDMENT SPEECH!! Mindy: "My undulating all-nude body represents the oscillation between Pain'es stated deism and his reputed atheism." Mindy Mounds recites passages from Thomas Paine's Age of Reason Brittni: "Removing all of my clothes to reveal my wholly naked body demonstrates my view that the IMF's role has been stripped down to ineffectiveness." Brittni Buns delivers a speech on the global financial infrastructure Candi Cann speaks out on campaign finance reform Candi: "My totally naked dancing punctuates my central thesis that we must open the campaign process and free it of clothed motives." Our Valued Customers "I thought all that talkin' would ruin my concentration during the lapdance. But it was actually kinda hot." -Name Withheld "It's true I came for the skin show. But I got drawn into a discussion on NAFTA with Jessica Curves that went to 3am." -Name Withheld All nude! All the time! All constitutionally protected!