Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for July 06, 2002

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Did You Know? This week -- the APOCALYPSE Admittedly, the apocalypse has not been the most pleasant of times. But those of us who see the glass as half-FULL realize it's been the source of many amazing FUN FACTS! One cannot blame the government for the apocalypse -- taking expensive steps to PREVENT IT would have SLOWED GNP GROWTH by 25%! Lexicologists say that before the Apocalypse, the word "airy" had a different meaning from its current meaning: "acidic, painful, caustic". Before her ascension, the prevailing view of the ANTICHRIST was as an affable hostess and home-decorating guru. The MOLE PEOPLE that torment us are technically neither moles, nor people. WHERE ARE THEY NOW? It is said that actor David Naughton, of "An American Werewolf In London" and those Dr. Pepper commercials, is a SLAVE in the Tribe by the Smoking River. The rats don't actually talk -- they're using telepathy! Next time, watch their lips! Some historians believed a man named GEORGE W. BUSH was president of the U.S. at the start of the apocalypse... ...but this has been thoroughly disproved through an examination of the voting record!