Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for October 22, 2010

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug's Super-Fun-Pak Comix Edited by Ruben Bolling Dinkle, The UNlovable Loser MMPH Woman: What's in this handkerchief? A vinyl cut out of Scooby-Doo? Woman: You're supposed to use chloroform, not Colorforms! Dinkle: SIGH Rutger & Chaos Butterfly, Private Investigators Man: You're finished, Rutger! Rutger: Chaos butterfly! Help! BRAZIL FLAP! One week later - Man: Wha...? Raindrops distracted me! POW Rutger: Good job, C.B.! Comix Playhouse Bringing the classics of American Theater to the comics page since June, 2000 Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Man: Are you afraid of Virginia Woolf? Man #2: No. Woman: No. Man #3: No, but that guy is. Man: Are you afraid of Virginia Woolf? Man #2: Hell yes, I am! Man: Well, that answers THAT. Pud Reilly, Hall of Famer Boy: Great Great Grampa Pud! Will you throw the ball to me? Pud: Eh? Ya want I should pitch? Pud: Whaddaya want from me? The little punk was crowdin' the plate! EMERGE ROOM Hates-Crime Man Hates-Crime Man: I hate crime so much, I'm going to dress in Spandex! HCM Hate-Crimes Man: There! Later - Hate-Crimes Man: Yes, large pepperoni. And those garlic things. ADVERTISEMENT Whoopi Cushion! When someone sits on it, it makes the sound of Whoopi Goldberg! Whoopi Cushion: Honey, don't even go there! $5.95 Yes, send me a Whoopi Cushion immediately. Check or money order is enclosed. No, do not send it to me, I opt not to purchase it. This is a stupid product, and not only would nobody ever want one, I doubt it is scientifically possible to produce a bag that sounds like Whoopi Goldberg when sat upon. I will not purchase it, and I therefore will not check any box, cut out this form and send it in, as that is pointless. I'm not going to play any of your corporate, capitalistic games with money, boxes and Whoopi Goldberg. I'm moving to a commune in Vermont. Okay, I'm back. A few of the people were nice, but this one guy Nick was such a jerk. I mean, his cooking group was like the Gestapo. And he actually talked over everyone at feeling circles! But I'm still not checking off any boxes. Cut out and send to: Whoopi Cushion, Inc. c/o Celebrity-Novelties, Ltd. P.O. Box 3744A Grand Cayman Island Forward to OffshoreCo, LLC Bermuda Town, Liechtenstein