Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 24, 2012

Transcript:

tom the dancing bug's edited by ruben bolling super-fun-pak comix superhero fantasies for the middle-aged woman: oh no! it's happening again! man: angry... grrr... man 2: get back! is he going to...? aaarrrr rip oop: yes! he's going to pass out coasters! man: come on! that's mahogany! classix comix not a substitute for reading the text or for classroom discussion of the text. oliver twist bum: okay, orphan. steal that man's handkerchief! husband: hey, you! wife: why, this waif is my nephew! orphan: what a coincidence! husband: you'll live with us and have all the handkerchiefs you'll ever want! orphan: yay! handkerchiefs! happy hobo times hobo 1: you wanna borrow this can of peas? hobo 2: no way, geoff! hobo 1: why not? hobo 2: because you'll just pool that loan with other assets, creating a tranched debt instrument... ...then you'll get a rating on the highest tranche... hobo 3: geoff used to work at lehman. tim tripp, time traveller tim: i did it! i'm just back from 1932 germany, where i killed krauss! dude: who? tim: i prevented him from becoming fuhrer, and starting w.w.ii and mass genocide! dude: don't you mean hitler? tim: sigh. this'll be my 8th trip back. how many of these guys do i have to kill? the flaoting head of irrelevant and wrong predictions guy: oh, you'll pay for that one! oh, no! the floating head of irrelevant and wrong predictions! head: squirrels shall gain the ability to make sloppy joes! advertisement the concept of a fart! only 14.95 imagine the looks on the faces of your friends!! parents will be like, "huh?" teachers will be all "wha...?!!!" now 18.95 act fast!! as seen in funny tv shows & movies! yes, i will gladly pay $18.95 for something so hilarious. payment is enclosed. wait. what? lol! #whofarted? i would have paid $18.95, but $21.95 seems steep. yes, it's now $21.95! this is so inane, i don't know whether to call the attorney general's office, or just crawl into bed and weep for the future of our nation. i found a website where i can get a pirated version for free. woohoo! the idea of odoriferous gases expelled from the rectum, accompanied by an auditory burst, and expressed as a mild vulgarism is roflmao! enclosed is a traveller's check for $27.95. it's still $21.95! i represent a hollywood studio, and i'm enclosing $400,000 to option the concept of a fart for a major motion picture! cut out and send to: concept novelties, inc. p.o, box 3744a, encino, calif. please contribute to our kickstarter project, the concept of a dude getting kicked in the balls!