Inadequate effort, Wiz…
Typical of a guy to set up his friend with a girl with decent curves, but a head full of air.
How do you change a blondes mind? Blow in her ear!
Blond Jokes!!!!! Bring ‘em on: haven’t heard any good ones in years!! Like: “Why do blonds wear shoulder pads?”
Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can understand them…
Just to be fair, men are like……
…..placematsthey only show up when there’s food on the table.
…..mascarathey usually run at the first sign of emotion.
…..bike helmetsthey’re good in emergencies but usually just look silly.
…..government bondsthey take so long to mature.
…..copiersyou need them in reproduction but that’s about it.
…..lava lampsfun to look at it but not all that bright.
…..bank accountswithout a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
…..high heelsthey’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
…..curling ironsthey’re always hot and always in your hair.
…..mini skirtsif your not careful they’ll creep up your legs.
…..handgunskeep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.
Now, on the other side of the fence…
Great Reasons To Be A Guy…
Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don’t rob you blind.
You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don’t have to clean if the meter reader is coming.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: “He must be mad at me.”
Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
Wedding dress – $2,000. Tuxedo rental – 75 bucks.
You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
Your pals will never trap you with: “So, notice anything different?”
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don’t have to shave below your neck.
Gas (at either end) is cool.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
Mastroianni and Hart
Argythree over 9 years ago
Inadequate effort, Wiz…
Jest Phulin over 9 years ago
Typical of a guy to set up his friend with a girl with decent curves, but a head full of air.
sarazan7 over 9 years ago
How do you change a blondes mind? Blow in her ear!
Aaberon over 9 years ago
Blond Jokes!!!!! Bring ‘em on: haven’t heard any good ones in years!! Like: “Why do blonds wear shoulder pads?”
nanczarny over 9 years ago
Why are blonde jokes so short? So men can understand them…
neverenoughgold over 9 years ago
Just to be fair, men are like……
…..placematsthey only show up when there’s food on the table.
…..mascarathey usually run at the first sign of emotion.
…..bike helmetsthey’re good in emergencies but usually just look silly.
…..government bondsthey take so long to mature.
…..copiersyou need them in reproduction but that’s about it.
…..lava lampsfun to look at it but not all that bright.
…..bank accountswithout a lot of money they don’t generate a lot of interest.
…..high heelsthey’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.
…..curling ironsthey’re always hot and always in your hair.
…..mini skirtsif your not careful they’ll creep up your legs.
…..handgunskeep one around long enough and your gonna want to shoot it.
neverenoughgold over 9 years ago
Now, on the other side of the fence…
Great Reasons To Be A Guy…
Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don’t rob you blind.
You can go to the bathroom without a support group.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger’s seat.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You don’t have to clean if the meter reader is coming.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking: “He must be mad at me.”
Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.
Wedding dress – $2,000. Tuxedo rental – 75 bucks.
You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
Your pals will never trap you with: “So, notice anything different?”
You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
You know which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You don’t have to shave below your neck.
Gas (at either end) is cool.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.