Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for October 17, 2018

I guess that’s why he has such a long face.

The blonde in front of the vending machine said out loud, “You’re a stupid, archaic piece of technology, your color is fading, you letters are coming off, and you’ll likely soon be replaced by a switch!”

When asked what she was doing, she pointed out that it said “Depress Button”.

Finally, someone listened!

Neigh, Neigh, he says. _ (R.I.P. John Pinette)

What would be a real horse put-down? “You run like you have four left hooves!” “Your dad came in last in the Derby and your mom pulled a milk wagon!” “My broom looks better than your mane!”

this is like in Ghostbusters 2 when Bill Murray is told to put down sigourney weaver’s baby “you’re short, you smell, your belly button sticks out and you’re a terrible burden on you mother”

“Put him down?! I can’t even pick him up!”

A very meta strip….

I’m just happy that the guy in green didn’t use the other meaning of that euphemism.

The horse must be feeling a little Stormy right now!

True story: I was working at a gym. People were coming to me to be added to a list for the next aerobics class. “Can you put me down on the list?” “Sure.” “Add me to the list, please?” “Sure.” “Can you put me down?” “You’re ugly.” Yes, I blurted out “you’re ugly” before I could stop myself. Whoops! Sure is funny now, wasn’t so funny at the time.

Ouch! A pitchfork to the heart of any cartoonist. But gags like this can make anyone’s mediocre art pay $$, which is the ultimate retort.

Lame? Not a patch on Frog Applause!

Why the long face?

I hope that foreman doesn’t hear any of my jokes.