Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for May 08, 2021

Too bad Wiz can’t do that with telephone solicitors.

Ha-ha!

Back home we just kept big mean dogs for them.

We just ask them to salute the flag.

You should see what the Wiz did to their bicycles.

Not sure what particular sect that is. Never seen any of them in blue jackets before.

I tell them we practice Frisbeetarianism

I usually tell them that I’m an agnostic atheist then watch their eyes glaze over and their heads spin!!

/SMIRK/

I’ve never had this come up. Pity. I’m an ordained minister in the Church of the Subgenius™. Talking to them about “Bob” would be interesting.

Yes, salesmen can be annoying.

And they decided to form a new sect. The Jumphova’s Witnesses.

I want to do that to Jehovah’s Witlesses and Mor(m)ons….

LDS proselytizers become Modern Day Amphibians!

It is the will of Landru!

What’s the matter you two, got a human in your throat?

I never knews modern suit and tie was invented in the medieval ages.

Takes all the fun out of life not having them to insult.

Wiz must have been in a good mood, he didn’t zap them into non-existence!

My brother had the perfect response to door to door solicitors. He would answer the door naked!

Just put up a sign that reads, “Proselytizers Will Be Sodomized”.

A “little” bit of an over-“reaction” on the part of the Wiz.

He could probably benefit from hearing the “Good News”

- just maybe not the way they were going to tell it.

I wonder if you get a bonus blessing for being “frogged” while you’re witnessing? I suspect not, but you never know.

Jee-frog-a-witness…

I’ve never understood why people find this a difficult situation. I just say “please leave”, or words to that effect, and close the door. So far, all of them have left.

I need this for people soliciting for politicians and political causes.

(senses a cartoon with a story worthy of being serialized through other cartoons like this one)

…OH, I wish that I could do that…

Yep…I found this funny! https://youtu.be/XVJIWl74Qbs

Nice suits anyway.

I’d give a small unspecified sum for one of those sticks.

I usually say to "porch preachers " no thank you I am a Epicurean Stoic , The Gods are going to crap on you no matter what you do with your life so you might as well enjoy it !

I’ve tried to cite Matthew 6 at them. Doesn’t seem to work.

Going by the color of the jackets.. must have been JW’s. That stick the Wiz has would be handy for a weekend or two here.

That’s how the Frogulite sect got started.

COVID-19 eliminated most door to door salesmen, but I still need help with Robot calls. Do they have a virus for them?

I’ll take them, any day, over those expressing their points of view in Portland and Minneapolis.

Wish I could do that, especially to traveling proselytizers of all ilks

My car needs repair! Whatever shall I do???

We used the “Dear, the virgins are here for the sacrifice,” line and haven’t seen one since.

Where’s the Wiz’s right arm in the first panel?

Who needs to kiss them to turn them back into people?

Full suits, so probably JH, though they have a tendency to drag the whole family. I guess short sleeve white shirts and no jacket would have been a little on the nose, but still very funny.

“Good news? I won? Where’s your van and the tv cameras? You guys are from Publishers Clearing House, aren’t you?”

Wish I could do that trick. Best response I ever came up with to “Can we tell you the Good News?” was “Not at 9 AM on a Saturday morning, you can’t.” Then I firmly closed the door in their faces.

Toadies never listen.

That’s what I wanna do to jehovah witnesses who come to my door

I usually just don’t answer the door. If you do answer, claim you “ have something on the stove”.

There are many here among us

Who feel that life is but a joke

But you and I, we’ve been through that

And this is not our fate

So let us stop talkin’ falsely now

The hour’s getting late

- B. Dylan

lol