WuMo by Wulff & Morgenthaler for October 20, 2020

The problem will begin when it starts to rot.

Child: Mommy, the fish moved!

Mother: Time to flush it down the toilet.

I’ll name him, “Floaty”.

What are you gonna do when it gets all smelly and then the kid doesn’t want it anymore?

Good Salesman to get you to “buy” a dead goldfish.

and you apparently also save money on hair cuts

aaaand a lifetime of therapy

Even a dead fish swims right-side-up twice a day, doesn’t it?

…and when we take him fishing at the lake, we can just scoop up the ones that are floating…

E’s not pinin’! ’E’s passed on! This fish is no more! He has ceased to be! ’E’s expired and gone to meet ‘is maker! ’E’s a stiff! Bereft of life, ‘e rests in peace! If you hadn’t dropped him in a bowl ’e’d be pushing up the daisies! ‘Is metabolic processes are now ’istory! ’E’s kicked the bucket, ’e’s shuffled off ‘is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-FISH!!

Should have spent your money on a plastic one.. this one will soon turn to sludge.

Why is she so happy that her son is a moron?

Is this kid Moe of the Three Stooges? Judging by his haircut.

If it’s dead, I guess it’s ihsus…

Not funny. My goldfish is 7 years old, swims right up to me for a treat. Clueless parents = clueless kids.

Or … he develops an unnatural attachment to dead creatures, and one night at 2 a.m., you awaken to him standing at the foot of your bed, struggling to understand why he feels nothing for his living parents, wondering if he should use the 8" chef’s knife he’s holding to set things to rights.