Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for April 26, 2024

“Your Dad said what?”

Another way is to stop looking at the clock and do something else.

Go west, young man.

Make sure she does not have a knife in hand at the time.

You’re a real devil, Dad!!

Looks like the babysitting debacle has suddenly been forgotten!!!

A few cookies short of a full jar

He is certainly Calvin dad. Brave, stupid but brave

Calvin’s father is just as creative as is Calvin – just in a different sort of way.

I thought the theory of relativity explains why family reunions seem to last forever.

Guess who’s sleeping on the sofa tonight.

Dad doesn’t realise than in a few years (fewer than he thinks) Calvin won’t believe a word he says about anything.

“Tell your dad that Mom says that he is going to have a lot of time for himself for at least the next month.”

Go far enough north or south and you don’t need to fly to change time zones.

That’s a relatively simple explanation……

Certainly better at thinking they know what they’re talking about when they have no idea what they’re talking about, I’ll give men that

Calvin’s dad is a putz.

Nearly right….

This from a man that once told Calvin that he wasn’t actually born into the family but was purchased from K-Mart.

Likes to Juggle sticks of Dynamite on a hot day this one !

How do you go west in outer space?

After one of Dad’s imaginative answers to one of Calvin’s questions, Mom shouted, “Honey, if you don’t know, just tell Calvin that!”

I heard of an experiment where they took two atomic clocks, which were perfectly synchronized. They put one in a jet that flew a few times around the earth, while the other was kept on the ground. When the jet landed, the clocks weren’t synchronized any more, and they said that that proved that high speeds slow time down. What I don’t understand is why nobody seems to have thought about the possibility that, rather than affecting time, the speed affected the clock.

I’d hate to have him explain the Uncle Thomas Court even though he’s a lawyer. At the time of the original cartoon, it was the Nixon-Burger Court or just after Burger-brains left.

Calvin, you’re over-thinking things again.

Did you have too much to dream last night?

(Thank you, Electric Prunes.)

What a flithead… and I’m not talking about Calvin this time.

Simple, mansplaining is in our genes. The watch pocket.

This is kind of L-tier reasoning right here. And I love it.

Portrait of a dad who likes to live dangerously.

The explanation of the theory of relativity depends on which relative you ask.

I love this dad.

Dad’s just coitusing with you Calvin.

Anyone who doesn’t believe in time travel has never crossed the international date line going in either direction.

That’s it. No more s_x for you!

I know which zone dad is in. The twilight zone.

Now I just know someone will read this strip and put Calvin’s dad’s explanation down on a physics test…

Before we moved to Sri Lanka (spent 5 years there) I told my kids they would have to take the Elephant bus to school, because of the Tigers.

[We did actually once have a parade of elephants past our apartment building one year, during Vesak]

Mansplaining. Doesn’t have to be right, just has to sound right.

And while Calvin is at it, he can say something else that Mom won’t believe.

An insight into where Calvin gets is ‘creativity’…

I read an Einstein’s primer on the issue and do not think I could explain it any better to a child.

During the time when I was reading it, my sister brought over her two babies for me to watch while she went shopping. She came back to me reading the book out loud and exclaimed “they cannot understand that”. I said “at their age (a few months) they cannot understand Dr Seuss so I might as well read what I want. All they care about is hearing the sound of a human voice.”

The statement “theory of relativity only works if you’re going west” is so extravagantly packed with stupidity that it must have been concocted by someone who actually understands and is taunting the less educated.

Dad used to do that when I asked but he usually had a smile that gave him away. My next question was ‘really?’ at which point he switched directions and offered another version, equally non-applicable. Was a time I looked forward to and back on with pleasure.

I often wonder why this amazing comic strip wasn’t made into an animated feature.

Yes, Calvin, do go tell your mother that!

Good old Dad must have a death wish.

Yes, Calvin, try that and learn a BIG lesson.

I am in the middle of an Einstein biography and the man himself explained it fairly understandably with a thought experiment. A kid on a moving train is bouncing a ball. To everyone on the train the ball looks like it hits the floor and bounces straight back into the kids hand. But if one could see through the train walls and watch while standing on the embankment next to the train tracks the bouncing ball would be moving sideways and in a v/w pattern. So for the people on the train the time it takes to bounce that ball is longer (time slows down more the faster you go.) than if they were standing still. Now if the train was travelling West, it would be doubly so because time is a distant relative and there is a lot of catching up to do especially if they live in Peoria.

So does this confirm that they live in the Eastern time zone?

And where did Calvin get his odd take on reality? Questions, anyone?

There there be dragons!

Better to lie to your kid than except you don’t know the answer and are too lazy to educate yourself.

Calvin’s interactions with his father offer some of the best Watterson strips.

This is why I’m against homeschooling

Dadsplaining. May warp you for life.

The Theory of Relativity: Your relatives are all nuts.

Notice that Calvin did, in fact, ask his mother first, and got an answer. He apparently assumed that her answer was wrong, and went looking for Dad. Why did he ask her in the first place?

I love Calvin’s parents. Also, the nut does not fall far from the tree.

Now what’s the law of relativity?

Yes, Calvin, PLEASE go tell her that.

That is just mean. Snerk.

While Calvin’s dad is ingenious at subtly punishing his wife for giving birth to Calvin, he also builds obstacles to there ever being even the possibility of another pregnancy.

Yeah, see how that works out!

I love how some will admit, “I’m not an expert in this field” and then continue on with what they think are the facts. Hairy sticles!

Here’s a simple version of the time and gravity connection. Take a rubberband and draw equal segments on it equating to seconds, minutes, whatever. Now let the band represents time and if one stretches it—representing an outside effect on time, time changes.

Way not to go Dad, setting Calvin up for a nasty rebuke from Mom!

This being the early ‘90s, mom’s gonna clobber dad.

If I were you, Calvin, I wouldn’t say a thing to Mom about what Dad said……….unless you want to witness a ‘knock down, drag out’ fight between them and Dad coming out the ‘worst for wear’ ! ! !

Poor Einstein – all that tensor calculus for this.

Dad must know what he’s talking about. He read the patent.

When my wife and I flew back from Japan, we left Tokyo at 5:30 Friday afternoon. We landed in San Diego at 7:30 Friday morning. Yes, we actually landed BEFORE we took off. They say you can’t be in two places at the same time, but at 5:45 Friday afternoon we had just left Tokyo and at 5:45 Friday afternoon we were approaching Dallas.

Too bad they don’t have Concorde jets anymore. I always wanted to fly to Hawaii and get there before I left

Nobel Prize for all THAT?!?

Is there a reason Calvin’s Dad wants to spend the rest of his life celibate and on the couch?

Boy, all the science fiction stories I read when I was a kid were wrong. Coming home from a space journey to find your loved ones dead or nearly.

I was going to say that’s where Calvin gets his devious behavior

A Very bad suggestion.

Einstein married his cousin, who had large breasts. That’s when he came up with the theory of relative titty.

Don’t tell her that yet, Calvin. Wait until dad has a running start.

And Mom will tell you to sleep on the couch tonight. After you wash the dishes.

Go tell her that, Calvin. I dare you. : )

Dad may be experiencing the theory of relativity as a result, if so …

Ask them about child birth, I bet their answer will differ.