There was an abbey, famous for its beautiful flower gardens. The friars who lived there had a problem, though – the abbey roof was in need of repairs, and they did not have the funds to pay for it. The friars decided to sell their flowers to raise money and opened a flower shop in town. Unfortunately, they were right across the street from an existing florist who was understandably upset at the friar’s encroachment on his livelihood. He tried to talk them out of it, but they had no other choices to raise the funds. He complained to the town, but the friars had obtained the necessary permits and licenses. Finally, in desperation, he hired a local thug named Hugh to scare them off. Hugh busted up the friar’s shop and sent them all packing back to the abbey. Thus, proving once again, that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Jay Leno’s first joke was uttered in grammar school. Teacher says: “People were very cruel in the days of Robin Hood. They used to boil people in oil.” Leno raises his hand and says, “But they couldn’t boil Tuck. He was a friar.”
Two Franciscan Brothers decided to open a fish and chips restaurant (because the Monastery needed money to make repairs). The local news media got wind of this and sent a reporter to interview the Brothers. Reporter gets to the restaurant and sees one of the Brothers working the deep fryer. Reporter asks “what is your role?”. Brother replies “I’m the fish fryer. The guy over there is the chip monk”.
Ratkin 23 days ago
You could accidentally give yourself a tonsurectomy.
joegee 23 days ago
I never had to try that haircut. Nature did it for me as I aged.
Digital Frog 23 days ago
There was an abbey, famous for its beautiful flower gardens. The friars who lived there had a problem, though – the abbey roof was in need of repairs, and they did not have the funds to pay for it. The friars decided to sell their flowers to raise money and opened a flower shop in town. Unfortunately, they were right across the street from an existing florist who was understandably upset at the friar’s encroachment on his livelihood. He tried to talk them out of it, but they had no other choices to raise the funds. He complained to the town, but the friars had obtained the necessary permits and licenses. Finally, in desperation, he hired a local thug named Hugh to scare them off. Hugh busted up the friar’s shop and sent them all packing back to the abbey. Thus, proving once again, that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
Jesy Bertz Premium Member 23 days ago
That was never an issue with Friar Gillette.
Liverlips McCracken Premium Member 23 days ago
The razor we could have let slide, but for making that pun I’m afraid we shall have to ask you to leave the order and the grounds forthwith.
L'Europeo Premium Member 23 days ago
Better ask Brother Occam if you can use his.
iggyman 23 days ago
A cutting remark I must say!
iggyman 23 days ago
It looks like the one Monk suffered his blade!
phritzg Premium Member 23 days ago
When the weather gets nice, the one assigned to do all the outdoor grilling becomes the Frequent Friar Fryer.
osceola 23 days ago
I see Friar Cut is there with his robbin’ hood.
PraiseofFolly 23 days ago
Friar Tuck had a slight tremor in his shaving right hand. Whenever he touched up his tonsure, it was usually Tuck and nip.
SteveHL 22 days ago
From the internet:
Jay Leno’s first joke was uttered in grammar school. Teacher says: “People were very cruel in the days of Robin Hood. They used to boil people in oil.” Leno raises his hand and says, “But they couldn’t boil Tuck. He was a friar.”
Slowly, he turned... 22 days ago
Is he Friarman Bill?
wongo 22 days ago
Thirty more years of silence for you!
owlsandy 22 days ago
That’s a real groaner,
strick9 22 days ago
Good Grief
oakie817 22 days ago
shaved the humor off this one
mjjk1985 22 days ago
The Sheriff of Nottingham captured Robin Hood’s men and boiled them in oil. All but Tuck. He was a fryer.
Steverino Premium Member 22 days ago
Two Franciscan Brothers decided to open a fish and chips restaurant (because the Monastery needed money to make repairs). The local news media got wind of this and sent a reporter to interview the Brothers. Reporter gets to the restaurant and sees one of the Brothers working the deep fryer. Reporter asks “what is your role?”. Brother replies “I’m the fish fryer. The guy over there is the chip monk”.
Frank Burns Eats Worms 22 days ago
Now they just call him Brother Nick.
Daltongang Premium Member 22 days ago
Henny Youngman was a Monk???? Who knew?
jel354 22 days ago
Brother Dominic’s wit was as dull as the razor.
Lablubber 22 days ago
Is that Abbot Costello?
6turtle9 22 days ago
They don’t live in a monastery, but in a groanastery.
Another Take 22 days ago
You never know when you see a tonsure haircut if you’re looking at a monk or at someone who just escaped the electric chair.
Chris Sherlock 22 days ago
Brother Dominic has razor sharp wit.
goboboyd 22 days ago
Unintentionally use brother Occam’s razor?