Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce for October 21, 2013

There are two kinds of astrology, Western and Eastern, and they are both inaccurate but in different ways, even if you could determine your future by the stars and the planets. Western is wrong because although they now take into account the discovery of the three new planets since astrology was first invented (though I don’t know if they’ve done anything since Pluto was declared a non-planet recently) it doesn’t take into account that in the last two thousand years, the earth’s axis has shifted enough that the constellation that was overhead if you were born twenty centuries ago on a certain date is not the constellation that was overhead when you were born within this century on the same date. But western astrology still assigns you to the star sign that is 2,000 years out of date.

Eastern astrology on the other hand, does take this into account and assigns you the right star signs—but ignores the presence of the three new planets.