Cornered by Mike Baldwin for February 27, 2013

But how does that make you feel?

Here, take two of these tablets and some deep breaths…you need to calm down.

So the definition of sanity is “less crazy than you.” Works for me!

Wrong! It doesn’t work that way! Everybody I know who’s a chronic complainer does so to make themselves feel better. It’s at the expense of the person listening, as if a direct transfer of well-being occurs. If you’ve seen the movie “Life Force,” you get the idea..I worked across from a person for many years who did this. He would appear down as a bloodhound and would snag people as they went by. Your biggest mistake was to say, “How you feelin’, Marty.” He would tell you in detail, endless depressing detail..I would see chipper, virile men reduced to whimpering shells of their former selves within 10 minutes, while Marty would visibly inflate. They would slink away, he would resume work, whistling..It was bizarre. He’s had one foot in the grave for 30 years, and while most people around him have passed, he remains.

And I’m sure the patient could use the money she’d earn posing as a shrink, too.