Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 23, 2015

Polly want some crack?

lucky strike?

Polly is going to be around a lot longer than you, Rat. You might as well start feeding her your lines now, before Cartoon Boy does it for you!

A rat’s lifespan is only supposed to a max of 5 years, so “a few years” is true, but perhaps the parrot should be keeping Rat as a pet?

“That parrot is no more. It has ceased to be. That is an ex parrot.”

Hey Rat, Teflon cooking spray will do the Parrot in, when you cook with the spray. Parrots can be real nasty. Or a big snake will take care of it.

bye bye birdy

if he resells the parrot for a modest profit in a short amount of time is that technically flipping the bird?

Wait, don’t parrots eat rats?

Give him a tasty menthol…….

parrots eat rats, be careful.

If Polly’s wings had not be clipped then she could fly to Stephen’s ex-wife’s house and live with her.

national headlines ‘RAT INVITES CROCS OVER FOR DINNER, PARROT MYSTERIOUSLY MISSING’ – would that be a “harmful external circumstance”?

Oh, great. Now we’re glorifying substance abuse in these posts!

Pass him the vodka too!

Not Kool, Rat, not Kool.

“This is a late parrot! If you hadn’t nailed it to the perch, it would be pushing up daisies! This is an ex-parrot!!”

Interestingly enough, there are no parroted responses in these comments.

Goat should teach the parrot to insult Rat.That would be hilarious! But not when Goat has a few broken bones of course.xxx

Hopefully PETA doesn’t see this.