Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt for February 25, 2015

Oh, no. A bee!

The old Vlad the Impaler method WAS pretty effective.Jes’ sayin’.

It’s getting hella violent up in here.

Google is your friend (well, beviek’s friend, anyway.)I’m not sure if encouraging kids to whack at these things is a good idea…Just in case they’re ever confused as to what going to come out of the real thing.

“Your cartoonist draws you funny” just doesn’t have the right sting to it.

If you want a cameo appearance in Fake Frog Applause, those are available for just $500 per appearance.

IMHO we should welcome all green cameo seekers … except those green with envy.

You could try damning them with faint praise, but if it was up to me I’d call Brutus – that dude knows how to leave a mark.

I’d apply to do the cameo, but I think that would violate the rules of the witless protection program.

I want a cameo but I won’t say so because I don’t want to be pinched.

I posted this in the editorial section earlier, but it might be apropos for the Frog Applausians as a last resort.

“Blowing from a Gun” is a method of execution in which the victim is typically tied to the mouth of a cannon and the cannon is fired. George Carter Stent describes the process as follows:.The victim is generally tied to a gun with the upper part of the small of his back resting against the muzzle. When the gun is fired, his head is seen to go straight up into the air some forty or fifty feet; the arms fly off right and left, high up in the air, and fall at, perhaps, a hundred yards distance; the legs drop to the ground beneath the muzzle of the gun; and the body is literally blown away altogether, not a vestige being seen..Blowing from a Gun was a reported means of execution as long ago as the 16th century, by the Mughal Empire, and was used until the 20th century.

I’m running a special for the next 48 hours: You can have TWO cameo appearances in Fake Frog Applause for just $380.

This offer might never be repeated.

The good folks at Reese’s have contracted with me for a cameo deal in Fake Frog Applause, and let me tell you, they’re paying a lot more than the $380 it would cost any of you to get in on this action.