Herman by Jim Unger for January 24, 2020

How can you tell if she’s female?

is that Tebow’s wife?

They’ll do a special category for her. No bathing suit needed.

Reminds me of Retief and The Pan Galactic Pageant of Pulchritude. For those SciFi fans out there.

It will be a cold day in hell if this one is entered….

They been allowing silicon based life forms to participate for many years now.

People complain about the World Series only involving at most two countries, but Miss Universe only involves one planet.

Too much advertising.

Last night I met a man from Mars. And he was very sad. He said, won’t you help me find my girlfriend, please. So, I asked him, what does she looked like. And the man from Mars said, She’s 8ft 2. Solid Blue. 5 Transistors, any shoe. Has anybody seen my gal? My Son The Celebrity. Alan Sherman. Lovely shape. Custom built. Squeeze her wrong and she says “Tilt”! Has anybody seen my gal? If, she’s found. Run like mad. Down to Cape Canaver-nal! And shoot me back my beauty. My super-sonic cutie. Send me back my Martian Gal!! Scary isn’t it. I haven’t played this record or heard it else ware, yet, I remember most of these lyrics.

She’ll keep bugging them until they say yes.