Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for October 03, 2012
October 02, 2012
October 04, 2012
Transcript:
Goat: Do you think you're going to heaven? Rat: I know it. Goat: How do you know it? Rat: Because one time at McDonald's, I held the door open for a fat guy. Goat: He must be so grateful. Rat: Not really... He walked so slow I let the door close on him again.
I don’t want to go to Heaven if it means spending eternity with righteous blowhards like Nabuquduriuzhur.
Jeffrey Dahmer converted to Christianity, so I guess he’ll make it into Heaven then? But if I give away all of my money and feed the poor but not believe in Jesus, then I’ll go to Hell. Something’s wrong here …
And never forget: The people with the most faith are suicide bombers.