Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for April 23, 2011

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Looking for a great way to get ahead in the job market? No? Then attend... 4-Profit University A for-profit "educational" institution dedicated to profits since 3Q 2009. Do you qualify for: - A Pell Grant? - The G.I. Bill? - A U.S. Government-backed Student Loan? If so, you may be the type of go-getter that is right for 4-Profit University! PUBLICUS MONEYUS FORUS Stroll our campus, conveniently located between Happy Luck Nails and Pizza-n-Gyros. Our business model combines massive "subprime" loans with a massive taxpayer-money grab. What could go wrong? If you can't attend on-campus, take our online courses. No computer? No worries! Take our text-message courses. Phone: pl8o postul8ed rLm of IDl forms Our professors are there to help, from the moment you check in, to the moment your check clears! Offering majors in such disciplines as: - Staying Enrolled for Four Weeks - Applications for Government Aid - Starting a For-Profit School to Scam Students - Selling Blood - Pizza and Gyros Consumption - Bizness and Finanz* Remember: The only thing standing between our shareholders and government money is...YOU!! Reading problem? No problem! Call Today: 1-555-4PROFIT! *No relation to "business" or "finance."