Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for February 01, 2013

Transcript:

third in a series of government information brochures your government, working for you! you are a computer criminal! who, me?? yes, you! everybody is! me?? yes! me?? yes! me?? yes! even me??? yes! computer criminal statutes are written so broadly, people violate them every day. for example, if you have ever visited a wevsite and failed to follow its terms of service, you committed a federal crime. and even if you didn't, there are thousands of other crimes we can charge you with. this keeps america and its beloved corporate institutions safe. because if we find a bad guy, we don't have to figure out whether he broke this law or that; we charge him with breaking the laws everybody breaks! frequently asked questions q. so... am i a "bad guy"? a. you can trust federal prosecutors to decide that. q. what do i do if i am charged with a computer crime? a. you can trust federal prosecutors to offer a punishment that is just and fair. q. what about judges and juries? a. you can take your case to them, but only by risking life-ruining, decades-long prison sentences. q. how can the law allow such severe penalties for things innocent people do every day? a. hmm. you ask questions a bit too frequently. are you a bad guy? q. i'm done asking questions. important if you are a corporate executive charged with any crime, identify yourself to your prosecutor immediately, so that we may send your company a bill, and send you on your way. when everyone's a criminal, we're all safe from bad guys!