9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney for May 15, 2006

Transcript:

Dear Thorax, Several years ago I met a man and fell in love with him, which I kept secret. We ran into each other recently, at which time I led him to believe I am the niece of the woman he met back then. I think he may now be displaying affection for me rather than my "aunt," which makes me jealous of myself, angry at him and ashamed at my own duplicity. What should I do? Split Personality in NYC Dear Split, You comprise an appalling mixed assortment of neurotic compulsions, suppressed desires, denial and guilt. You are beyond any help the psychiatric profession could offer, and of enormous entertainment potential. Keep writing.