9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney for September 29, 2006

Transcript:

"From all indications, you have had a long life...How do you stay so young?" "Since my appearance does not betoken youth, your query leaves the bystander pondering one of two impressions: Either you are pathologically dishonest or painfully stupid." "Longevity is not an issue of staying young. It is an issue of not dying." "Okay, then...How do you stay so old?" "Sodium benzoate."