9 Chickweed Lane by Brooke McEldowney for April 21, 2016

Transcript:

Uncle ethel's locutionary field guide to earth plebiscite edition. Damage, noun: harm, destruction, cost. "what's the damage?" will be asked when summoning the check for breakfast at a diner, or when the government delivers a bill bearing any number followed by 12 or more zeros. The only difference is that, in the latter case, you actually elect the waiter.