Adam@Home by Rob Harrell for December 02, 1997

Transcript:

Letter: His fourteenth year brought a bounty of medical extravaganzas for our loyal pooch, Garp, here in the Friedrichsen household. It started placidly enough with the usual shots and extractions of bad teeth, but it wasn't long before his left eye was sewn shut for ten days while a gouge in his cornea healed. Then, while Garp was being treated for unknown crystals in his private parts, the vet discovered a tumor and liver debilitation (I told him to lay off the sauce). Hence, Garp has a new health plan for the coming year. He will be stuffed in an attack position and bronzed. It will be cheaper and he'll be a more attentive guard dog.