Adam@Home by Rob Harrell for August 29, 2011
August 28, 2011
August 30, 2011
Transcript:
Male security officer: Next case, Adam Newman is accused of running the stoplight at Burnside and Grand. Judge: Hey, dude. How do you pleased? Adam: Not guilty, your honor. By reason of sanity! Judge: Dude. Melodramatic. I dig. Adam: I'm here to fight for the little people. Judge: I love it, dude. Were you in Chicago in '68? Adam: No... I was in diapers in '68.
I was three in ‘68, but I went to Chicago anyway. I was precocious. I was the only protester crying before the tear gas was fired, but that was because I hadn’t had my nap.
A Daley cop smashed me in the mouth with his riot stick, and knocked out all six of my teeth. But I left ’em under my pillow and the Tooth Fairy gave me 60 cents! SCORE!
Mind you, this was 60 cents in 1968 dollars. That was a lot of money then, especially for a 3 year-old.
Wild times, man. WILD times…