Andy Capp by Reg Smythe for December 25, 2024

and that’s the spirit !

Ma often needed to give dad a nudge when he started to snore in the pew.

Merry Christmas, Cappers. And you can wish me Happy Hanukkah tomorrow.

חֲנוּכָּה שַׂמֵחַ.

Hanukkah sameach

Just don’t be like a TV commercial and raise your volume…that wakes me up!

A priest giving a children’s sermon on vestments asked, “Why do you think I wear this collar?”

One kid answered, “Because it kills fleas and ticks for up to 30 days.”

My friend and I were talking about another friend who became a preacher when he suddenly showed up seeking advice for his sermon…

I said, “well, speak of the devil!”

How does a vegetarian priest start their sermons?

Lettuce pray.

On a Sunday morning in church, a priest starts his sermon and says: “Dear Lord, without you we are but dust”…

Hearing this, a little girl leans over to her mother and loudly asks: “Mommy, what is butt dust?”

A Southern minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon. Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:

The first worm in alcohol -Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke -Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup -Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil – Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation – What can you learn from this demonstration?

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

‘As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!’

That pretty much ended the service.

♪♪A Merry Christmas and Many Happy Returns Of The Day! ♪♪

May the blessing of the Holy Theotokos be on everyone on this day of the Nativity. And may this start of Hanukkah be a blessed one for all.

(I’m Eastern Orthodox by the way if you haven’t guessed.)

Works for me.

Merry Xmas Cappr’s and here’s to absent friends.

I didn’t know that the sermon was the priest’s cathartic session… :D

Hope this festive season will bring good luck and good health to you and your family. Merry Christmas

Tell him, Andrew.

Would never attend a Church that had Shorten Christmas to Xmas. Taking a lazy inept short way to honor Lord Thy God as X is Blasphemy. Merry Christmas all You Cappers.

When Midnight Mass ends at 10:00 the next morning it may have been a tad long. Merry Christmas to All and God Bless Us, Every One!

Say amen, Capp.

In my younger days I used to climb poles to change lights at football fields. One day my ground man needed to leave to acquire some parts and I wasn’t going to climb down 80’ just to climb back up, so I took a short nap on the walkway. Ya, I can sleep about anywhere and through anything too. ;-}

And ain’t that the truth……

Merry Christmas Cappers!!!

That really wasn’t the plan, Andy.

Merry Christmas to all both here and in our memories.

Merry Christmas, Andy and Flo!

Well it is cutting into his drinking time.

all rested up for a night at the pub

The main complaint I used to hear from our preachers was about people balancing their checkbooks during the sermon.

FUNNY!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah, Cappers! :)

Just the nap he needed before the pub.

My favourite one is a true story. I was watching one of these blooper shows where they show things have gone wring on a show but is really funny. On this particular clip a minister was talking about the wedding at Cana where Jesus turns water into wine. The minister turned to a sweet little girl and asked her what she learned from that story. She replied, “if you run out of wine at a wedding, get on your knees and pray”.