Aunty Acid by Ged Backland for March 05, 2022

Mine is being found on the toilet.

I was on the bathroom floor when I fell last year and broke my knee. I love my walk-in tub.

Worked for Marilyn Monroe.

That’s my fear too….

I always keep a bath towel on the floor within reach. I keep forgetting I should take my phone with me. Nobody would know I needed finding.

I assure you ma’am that THAT won’t be a pleasant scene in my case. So, nothing to fear but I would lose the joy of looking at other people’s faces when they look at me down there… oh boy, the terror!

If you’re dead it won’t matter.

At least you won’t have dirty underwear.

That’s why I make sure my legs are always shaved!

Hospital, Morgue, funeral home, God. Naked. Get over it. You won’t care.

This strip has caused the most warped sense of bathroom humour!

Also, maybe keep an old cell phone in the bathroom. Although deactivated from ph9ne service i understand that they are still capable of calling 911.

And with that weird hairdo…

That’s crossed my mind too. I’m concerned they’d be laughing so hard, they forget to treat me.

I recently had a "cardiac incident’ where EMS had to jump start my heart with 100 joules. I felt immediately better even before I landed in the chair from which I was launched,

I enjoyed the ambulance ride to the hospital and had a pleasant chat with the woman who zapped me. As part of our conversation, I told her that about an hour before we called them, I had taken a shower and in spite of being hit with a bolt of man made lightening, I still had clean underwear on. My mom would have been proud.

Bottom line: no damage to the heart and everything has been fine since.

Nothing wrong with being naked in the shower.

It is not being found naked that should worry you, Aunty, it’s more about what you were doing (in the shower or elsewhere) when you were found that way.

I had a great uncle who died in the outhouse (1914). His life was already so tragic. He was blind and the term of the day was “slow”. At the funeral for his mom he was terrified because he had no place to go. Thankfully one of the cousins took him in. He got dysentery and literally wasted himself to death. Ever since my mom told me about him that is my fear-dying on the toilet, not the dysentery.

Always keep a large towel within hand reach.

I was a volunteer EMT for almost a decade. Yep. Odds were they were naked. Happens a good bit.

I always keep a towel handy and my phone within reach when I take a shower. I have to use a handicap chair to shower due to not being able to stand long but my shower is small so it is close quarters in there so I worry about falling when I have to get off seat to wash legs and private parts. My Dad lives in apartment above mine and his bedroom is above my bathroom so I could also just yell real loud for him to hear me calling for help.