Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for November 15, 2012

Another hose joke ?I’m not even dealing with this tonight ! I’m headed straight for the Tiki Bar for a large double single malt Scotch.

Cartoon physics.

With all the hose use on Ballard Street, the Lawn and Garden stores will never go out of business.

And the point is…?

High wind?

Bev …in re your question from before the turn….

What I posted should be the same picture you saved and then uploaded to GoComics to be your avatar.

A few days ago I started to explain how to display the avatar pictures full size…. but you hadn’t posted a picture yet, so it was too complicated.

I’ll explain again…. but not now when I’m sleepy and you’re sleeping.

Radish….

That’s what water does.

The more level you hold it, and the more forceful the jet, the farther and straighter it goes before falling…

but you know…. Ted is getting older…and his hose is….oh, never mind….

Bri… for me, the second scotch is always kinda sloppy. :)

Monkey… hope you have a few moments to read some comments to you from before the end of yesterday….

And StelBel…. where the heck ARE you??

Oh… Hi Red…

Don’t mind if I do….thanks!Cheers!

Strong wind

revised caption: Ted washes his car (which is 3 feet high), from a distance of 10 feet, holding the hose in his right hand while smoking a pipe, and with his left hand in his left pocket, and with a wrench in his right pocket. Also, with his high-water pants on just in case he floods the sidewalk on lower Ballard St.

there!…..that’s makes it much clearer! I do like to know exactly what is happening on every inch of Ballard St.

Next, Ted will shower his neighbor (who has set up his information booth on the different Aspects of Fish AGAIN this morning) with nice, cold water.

I think it’s time someone took on the task of cataloguing the many references to hoses here. Many cities have nicknames…NYC= "The Big AppleNew Orleans= “The Big Easy”Chicago=“The Windy City”Boston=“Bean Town”Springfield (MA)=“The City of Homes”Westfield (MA)=“Whip City”

…Ballard=“Home of Hoses ‘n’ Hoes” ???

Gotta go to the dentist…will return later…..maybe…..wish me luck….. sigh

When I was a lad I went to Yale…<><><><><><><><>><><><><><><>With apologies to Gilbert & Sullivan, Allen Sherman was one of the funniest satirists of his day.For those too young to remember, this satire about Madison Ave. ad men ( Think Mad Men ) was based on a darkly funny novel, by Sloan Wilson, called The Man in the Gray Flannel Suite. It was later turned into a movie with Gregory Peck, Jennifer Jones and Frederic March.While the movie is very good, I heartily recommend the novel. The book holds up almost 50 years later.Thanks Red.

Looks like the rinse cycle.He may also be moving the nozzle to the left accounting for the slight right bend in the stream.Certain comments would have been more profuse/profane if his right hand was at the same level as his left.

mornin’ all yall…!!!rite ta bidness… ok Stel… ah finely gots da pics… thanx fur teh pay shunts (an a liddle hep frum SuSun…. yep… teht FiFee shur cuts a nice pro file … an ah bet shes purty talented tew… :())

tell er ta come on buy, ahl give her the wunce over an amp pole kayshun…. an a standerd skull skills test…. ahm shur Batpug an Lt. HoeRatio wood like to watch be in turettstit in teh resultz…

(an wiht teh in creesed site ends round hair… we can pud her in charje of inspektin all teh BS hoes & hose and asst. fittin’s/clamps an makin shur they up ta code…. and safe… and not leaky… an broken… er tew old… er wore owt…. ) Ahm sure Ted wood pre she ate her hep in keepin HIS hose up ta code….

To Number Six from yesterday.I feel so sorry for that wee lass. The damn prince is after her M&M minis. There he goes again taking candy from a baby. (Pussy Galore! Goldfinger.)That sure is one tiny car. Must be one of those pocket cars from Russia. That awful blue color puts me off.OR he is one big dude so I would not mess with him and his hose of fury.AND please someone explain Gravity to Radish.What goes up must come down unless you add Viagra then in about 4 hours. If longer hang a flag on it and parade it around the room.

looks to me like Ted is a big, big man.

I went to Yale too.They told me to be quiet everyone was sleeping.I was “Yale” ing too loud.(I put that last part in for those who may have not got the first joke)( You you are all so high brow on your humor here. I feel like a yutz)

Good "ol Ted, when he get’s an idea to use the hose theres no stopping him. I see that he did have to change his shirt after his adventure with the cat. Hosing the car must be much more relaxing, he picked up his pipe.

… just ahd a speshul rekwest ovre at “That Is Priceless” to play mah gitter more offin… so, here it comes……!!!(wanna join in Red??)how bout sum “hoochie coochie man…”

♪♫♫gypsie woman tole mah mamma…on teh day ah wuz borned….. !♪♪♫♫

Will Ted be washing hiselectric fence tomorrow? Tune in for the shocking conclusion.

Hey, I just seen on the side bar an ad for Compression hose. Man I need a pair of those to make my legs look that good. So if I see it right. Buy these and have legs like a fashion model. I have legs like a line backer so these would make me look more sexy? Oh are they for girls? No wonder.I saw the Madonna concert now she has legs like a line backer. She could use those.I just remembered I have some compression hose the docs left on me after my surgery. Maybe I will just wander off over here into the corner now.

Laflin LarryThey make cordless keyboards.I got one. And a mouse without a tail.So you could spin without ever getting tangled up.

re: “How about a little (Chester Arthur Burnett) Howlin Wolf?…..Killing Floor…………………”-———————————-er, wun of mah faverits frum WD as sung buy HW tew…!!!(Tiki Bar anthem) :())

“Wang Dang Doodal” (snicker)

♪♪♫♫

Tell Automatic Slim, tell razor totin’ Jim…Tell Butcher Knife Totin’ Annie, tell Fast Talking Fanny…we gonna pitch a ball…down to that union hall…We gonna romp and tromp till midnight, We gonna fuss and fight till daylight….We gonna pitch a wang dang doodle all All night long, All night long, All night longAll night long, All night longWe gonna pitch a wang dang doodle all All night long!!!!

Tell Kudzu-Crawlin’ Red, tell Abyssinian Ned, Tell ol’ Pistol Pete, everybody gonna meet…Tonight we need no rest, we really gonna throw a messWe gonna to break out all of the windows, we gonna kick down all the doors We gonna pitch a wang dang doodle all night long…All night long, All night longAll night long, All night longWe gonna pitch a wang dang doodle all All night long!!!!

Tell Fats and Washboard Sam, that everybody gonna jam…Tell Shaky and Boxcar Joe, we got sawdust on the floor..Tell Peg and Caroline Dye, we gonna have us a timeWhen the fish scent fill the air, there’ll be snuff juice everywhere…!!!!We gonna pitch a wang dang doodle all night long…All night long, All night longAll night long, All night longWe gonna pitch a wang dang doodle all All night long!!!!

I can name that tune in one note.

Wang dang doodleI think I lost my noodleI’ve been here way too longTime for me to be movin on.Wang dang doodleToss me another noodleand while your there Send some ladies fair.In nothing but lacy underwear.Wang dang doodleI think I’d like some struddleDuncan Hines would be fineBut Pillsbury would be devine.Wang dang doodleMessing with your canoodle.Melt your brainWith words insaneHaving funWithout a gunNow its time for me to run.So ends my songWang dang doodleI apologize if offendedThink happy thoughts and all will be mended. If happy thoughts are hard to get.Just drink more and you will forget.Yippee Ya YayWang Dang Doodle(Rights reserved)(As if anyone but me would claim it)

I notice Ted has changed his shirt since yesterday… he looks much better in purple!

It’s obvious that Ted is a Hoser.

well, my buddy Jim Bass he’s a’working pumpin’ gas…..

@Linda Dean but dang, it was good!!

I like mostly good gin with botanicals but like a variety of stuff- Cuervo’s new skinny margs are good and I love some Bustelo coffee with brandy as well as Kalua with Presidente (used to have a few every night when I worked in Mexico for Zenith.

taking full pots of left overs to the Tiki….bet some of these southern guys like it…."burning the gloves I cut the Jalapeno’s up with*….Texans do love thier pinto’s! Horses and Beans!

Sometimes I try to use the hose too far across to the other side of my pool, but I have a hose bibb over there too. That IS that natural arc of water as many have already mentioned.

Oh my…… so late before I could get back.

Sorry I missed a lot of questions….I’ll see what I can do, and hope the answers still get found.Meanwhile…. I’m strolling towards the Tiki…ready for a little glass of something….hoping the music is still going…..

“Oh, you’re a mean old Daddy but I like you…."

Soon I’ll fire up the grinder, too, if the Monkey hasn’t, and we can all have banana daiquiris….and ..um…pitch the wang-dang-doodle while the rain rolls into town.

Hey Bev!Good to see you!

Actually it’s good mood music song for grindin’ up banana daiquiris, and for toasting friends….

Here’s Joni

Thanks Red…

And yes, Bev… I’ve still got some tomatoes…. not from my garden but from that local farm I showed you.

Only $12 for a 20 pound box but that was over a week ago….and while I still have some cos I chose lots of still orange ones, that was the last batch they were expecting to pick this year.

Ripening in a cool kitchen, they don’t taste quite like September’s crop…but way better than anything in a store.

X … I went to your Citizen Dog page… and answered you there about avatar pics…as soon as I stopped reeling from being confronted by my giant self. LOL

Thank you…. and yes, my advice to Bev was always to go to the picture and save it by “normal means”…. and in fact I think she did, cos she eventually uploaded it as her avatar.

But before that, it wouldn’t let her link to it directly…just showed up as red x’s, etc.. and when I tried to follow her link to it, I got a forbidden page error.Must be a page that doesn’t allow hot linking.

Explaining all about Photobucket (or other hosting) seemed too complicated for here.

So when she posted the avatar, I “hacked” it to post full size…. and she asked me how I did that.

Separate question, not meant to replace normal posting of pictures.

How come as soon as I show up…. everybody leaves or falls asleep…. sniffle I mean….just wondering….

OK…. probably too late to answer the others….like Good job on your lyrics, Veteran!And on the little car pics, Happy.(waves back at Stel)

Monkey…. ohh Monkey…what will I do with you…I DO know what you meant about Fifi..

Oh…. that reminds me… for you and the Linguist to me, Hoochie Coochie man is Muddy Waters… not Stevie Ray Vaughn.

And yeah…This video is a bit before I was aware of him…. old as I am.And it’s cut off rather abruptly.

Hi Bev… Hi Bri!Glad _somebody’s here!Banana daiquiri, anybody?

And Linda left some great beans and cornbread…forgot to say “Thanks, Linda!”

PBR….in a…. can??If you insist…you got it!

I suppose it beats a Schlitz. Do they still make that stuff?

I shouldn’t talk…. till the age of microbreweries, California was awash in “western” beer…pale pi$$water like Coors Light.

Still is, I suppose … I just don’t look for it.Sure you don’t want to try a Red Tail Ale?

Mmmmm bacon…hey you can always get more bacon…. should you decide to just… you know…. cook some up….

And yeah, Linda, I’ve still got some small green tomatoes out there…I bring ’em in to ripen when they hit orange or the frost splits them… or the birds eat ’em.

No room in my hovel for the whole plants.

A little complicated for so close to the changeover (and bed) Bev…I WILL answer better, but for now….

Megabytes …Mb…(and Kilobytes… Kb) are the size of he “file” … how much storage room it takes up on your computer, or in an e-mail…like ounces and pounds….1000 bytes in a Kb, 1000 Kb in a Mb…even 1000 Mb (people say “megs”) in a Gigabyte…

So a 1Mb picture takes up as much room as 10 100Kb pictures on your hard drive. Used to take too long to send when we all had dial-up internet….and some people still do.

But when we say 300 pixels wide, we’re talking about dots of light on your monitor…..300 × 400 means the picture takes up an area 300 by 400 dots.

Very old monitors could barely display that, as they had a lot fewer dots in every inch... but it’s only a fraction of what’s available on a newer 1600×1000 monitor.Think of those kits with lights behind translucent plastic pegs… like kids used to have…. (LiteBright?)You can make pictures but there aren’t enough dots to make them realistic.Even if you enlarge them…. not enough dots.

If they had way tiny pegs, the pictures could be more realistic.

So a picture that’s 600 × 400 has more detail than 300 × 200....but the comment box is only 360 pixels wide….so if you want it to fit, you have to display it smaller…. and it will lose some detail cos it won’t show all the dots.

See you all on the next page.

Hi Red… thanks.Actually I’m in the mood for a banana daiquiri…Maybe you could buy Bev or Bri some pi$$water Oly from me instead…LOL….shouldn’t cost as much as my usual shot of Glenfiddich…

And yes, I love that song…. not so much the lyrics as the feel of it and her warbly trills.

You feel like playing some more?…. playing through the changeover?

You did it!

C’mon over to tomorrow, Red!

And thanks for taking care of Bev and Bri… I’ll just suck down some of this banana stuff.

Want some…. it’s really fresh?

Whew, Mah fangers is sore tarred….!!!

Mehbe ah kin gits a foots rub on Mah Fangers frum miss Suzi… :())

The Musical!

https://cleoandcompany.net/november15-2022/

Good morning Balladeers, (((((Plods))))) and Miss Susan.