Ballard Street by Jerry Van Amerongen for December 18, 2012

Never, and I repeat, never, buy socks at Walmart again !

Something knocked his socks off!

beer o’clock. I’m outa here.

I hate to disagree with Essex but StelBel’s Bargain Basement and Second Hand Beauty Supply carries better quality socks than Walmart. In fact she supplies such famous people as The Cat In The Hat and David Letterman.I agree with Bev. Vivian could be a socks sabotager !

Before I depart for awhile, if Red doesn’t get here before I go, tell him I left a new CD on the box called " Notes from the Heart " by a Swedish guitarist, Ulf Wakenius . Really worth listening to. Also added Peter Appleyard’s new one " Sophisticated Ladies " featuring Elizabeth Shepherd doing a great rendition of " It’s Only A Paper Moon".Night All. Happy Listening !

Maybe that’s why he can’t get on airplanes ?I was just leaving but I’ll have a quick nip with you.Fenton, give us a couple of Red Breasts, neat, – unless you rather a Glenfiddich ?

Red, have you heard Carol Welsman’s new one, " Never Make Your Move Too Soon " ? Funny and cool !

Those Walmart folks are definitely, heel-less soles !

G’night Bev!Can you still hear me?

Sigh…. probably not.

Hi guys…. Missed the turn cos I’ve been working on something, but I’m here for another break….

I seem to spend more time at the Tiki than working on my project….

And I know pretty soon I’ll start wondering why I’m not done.

You’re early tonight, Red.

I think I’ll have one of the Linguist’s Christmas Daiquiri’s, if there’s any left.Don’t make another batch just for me, though…. banana’s OK.

Can’t drink scotch and do any more work, so I have to wait.

RED!! I was just about to ask you something!

Essex! You’re not THAT old!

Anyhow…. I hink a LOT of us don’t know how we end up in the Tiki….but we gravitate….. sloowwwly….and here we are again.

I hate when my electric socks short out.

Too much static.

Those are some stinky feet!

Maybe electric socks and the batteries blew up?

Yeah, good old Jet Blue comes through for you.I’ve got a feeling DAZZ won’t be doing a lot of posting for awhile.She’ll be a little wrapped up with you-know-who.

Wow, when they say that will “blow your socks off” …must’ve been impressive

Neal was given those socks by the Bayer Research and Developing team as a research subject. Diabetes has become such an issue and most people wont go in for an A1C test to see if they are indeed diabetic. These socks are to deteriorate if the wearer is diabetic. Whether it is type 1 or 2 is not in question at this point. But we, and Neal all know that its time to go see Dr. Ravi St. Milktaoist at the Ballard Street Medical Clinic and Tandoori Palace. I see new socks and Metformin in his future….

its cuz this is the place where everyone knows your name, er, avatar that is….even if we sometimes have spent too much time at The Tiki ourselves and bumble around with its spelling….and yes, heres another one for the juke box…and did you get my 2nd one from last night put on it yet?…heres the next one,,,Santas got a semi

Best Joe Diffie Song Ever!…heheheeee…can just see you propped up against the big grinder with pockets full of quarters for the jukebox!

Looks like there was a bad ejection system in them babies.

“blasting powder for talcum” – I was also thinking something of that sort! They do seem to have exploded.

Its the other way around for me

Hay everbuddy…. ahm baaaack….Bin bizee sints yesturday morn, had a big howlin wind come thru mah end of NW BS… strait 60 wit guts of 80+ mph… lotta damage at teh stucco yurt, fencin an cement pond… nowun hert tho… gonna be bizee wit teh inshurence juster an contrac bidders…. (whew*)… enyweys… thot ide stop by teh tiki fer a cold freshmint… hey Ling… wuts on tap…?? any of Reds Ale fur whut ails mah parched thote…

ah thinks Neal wuz supposed ta put out his hot foots afore he put on hiz sox….

aw man I gots me some holiday (yesh thats it..holiday spirit…\Drunken Santa

wheeee welcome back Sheriff…we all in da holiday spirit and since youz back might be youse wanna keep an eyball peeled for us and make sure we live to enjoy more of da holidaze…btw…your cousin Vince is hot!!…gorilla’s are so huggable yet offsetting…how does Vince feel about hugs?

Oh my sweet dear Fenton…not to worry my gorgeous boxer…you are the heart of Christmas…you give so generously (I wont tell the boss how generous you are at the Tiki, I promise)…not to mention your shelf of bow ties…I especially like the one with red and green led lights on it for the holidays….oh, Fenton, I just unpacked the box of mistletoe….shall we try it out?….I know of 7 spots at the Tiki I want to hang this at….how are you with heights Fenton?…I dont do ladders…or heights well…heck, last night I had to be helped down from a bar stool….and I am never wearing stillettos to the Tiki again….until New Years at least….

oh my stars and garters….I wont post the link because I think it may be evil…but if you wanna go somewhere kinky…go to you tube and watch perverted Frosty the Snowman…sheesh…and I thought I was a liberal….

I need some piranhas if they dont intend to consume the foot but intend to “merely get the weak spots so to speak”….

Socks made of recycled cordite. Military sold it and the Chinese made them. Just be careful of friction or heat build up. (They may explode. Don’t tell anyone. Ooops I just did) Mind wipe it immediately, Comrades!

I don’t even wear those often. I’ll be traveling in my homemade flats.

do I have to go throught Lisbon if I just want to go to the U.K.?

throught?meant through…mea culpa

later all…have to go pick up prime rib roast…

Time to unplug the computer desk; be seeing y’all later!

The Lisbon Connection would absolutely be my choice! Excellent!

boy I had it all laid out and go comics didnt like it….Linguist, email me at lindalaughs@hotmail.com and I will do it again….wish I had cut and pasted what I just typed twice into word or text….I had it down perfectly for a newbie…heck I would have understood it even…..grrrrr…….ah well…new one for the Tiki Wurlitzer….

adults only-cuz you aint getting nuttin for Christmas

Well, me and the Bayer people are waiting for repurcussions. Me, so I can write about it. They just want to know if it caused any fall-out. Personally, I just want to find out if my tell all aproach lands me a spot in the Tattler or National Enquirer. Bayer is a big company to bust ya know….I should really start looking for a photographer….

OMG Red is here…hey Red, ya wanna get all Repoc or somthing?….lol….pay me no mind….am all excited…its Christmas, and my new grandson is coming to my house for his first Christmas ever! This house looks like something Martha Stewart thought up as a fantasy….and I have baked so many goodies and passed off half of them to churches and community outreaches…saved a couple of tins of cookies and one of pralines and one of truffles though…selfish of me but my son and d-i-l and me deserve some too….my grandson…my first grandchild, little Ronnie…its our first Christmas together…while I know he wont remember, I will never forget….there will be pics and videos and I know he will treasure them eventually….but first there comes the good part…NOW!…I wont wish for the future, or dream of the past, I will always remember that this moment is what lasts….thats original, and if I did read it somewhere, I surely dont remember where as my email signature is " So many books, so little time"….

oops, I lost the thread of the conversation…sorry Essex and Red…allow me to apologize by standing the tab at the Tiki….

Christmas just does that to me…..now button up your jackets and lets go see Vince and Fenton….

Crunching thru the snow, in a weird 6 way glow, grasping Reds elbow, clinging to it tight,…then wafting over ice, sure that Essex’s grip is nice….Icy tho it be, I think that I can see…the Tiki’s over there,….oh, The Tiki Swells, with our Stel, and Susans on her way… with Yak Steaks and maybe ribs but what then just what the hey…Oh Monkeys Cool…Nanner Dacquiris rule, and I just gotta say… At Christmas and at anytime, its B.S. all the way….hey!…

ummm, can anyone contact the Menninger Clinic for me?….I may have Christmasitis….

speaking of Tequila

hey ya’ll wait fur me…..!!!! Ahl bring out teh gud stuff at teh tiki…!!!!

somehow, someway, I feel this may be an interesting evening!…(and da Monkey is cool),,,,

Vince, my good man, dacquiris and Irish for the house….let them take their pick….and tell Linguist and Red that their doubloons or money is no good….and Vince, when you come back with my slippery,,,erm, er, kahlua with vodka and irish creme floated on top, can I possible hug you? I have always wanted to hug a gorilla or an orangutan….you guys just look so snuggly and huggable….I will tip you generously….I just want a hug from your big hairy gorrilloish frame….although,l come to think of it, Fenton might object…I’d best run home and ask him if too many hugs might be too much…

Where is Linguist’s recipe? The one for the other dacquiri?…It knocked me out last night…maybe it could do the same for you guys (and me) this evening….please call teh B.S. Taxi and Polish Food Co. for me….I need to get over to the other side of the Atlantic for a bit…..

Well hugged (by Vince) and comforted by being in front of a blazing fireplace and simply relaxing along with my terroristic terrier, Terrorist, and fun and funny basset, George and da queen bee, Katrinka (Siamese Goddess), I think I will take my final slippery nipple over to the recliner and the swag lamp and peruse my just arrived copy of Father Goose, circa 1934….so many books….so little time….Night all….

Whew….

Coupla minutes to stop in at the Tiki….It’s sooo easy to stay on Ballard Street, work at the salon, pop into the bar….But today I’ve really needed to try to get something else done!

Monkey! Are you really OK?Gosh….. I hope so. Been wondering where you were….

I’ve tried to keep on top of the bar….no, not like you’re thinking….(all you other guys either!)and I’ll be back in time to run the grinder later….

Anyway, hope the Monkey compound up in Northwestern Ballard County is all right, and you can spend more time on downtown Ballard St. soon.Come by the salon any time if you need …um…. the mud washed out of your hair… I still have loads of that special monkey soap.

I think this is a good time for a banana daiquiri….Cheers, all!

Aw Essex…. that’s the cutest puppy.

There are so many links and comments, I can’t possible catch up on listening to everything or replying to everybody right now…. I’ll give it another try later.

Maybe just a little more daiquiri “for the road…”Don’t worry, I’m walking back to the salon…. LOL…

Hey, if anybody wants to drop by there while I’m working on my project….I may be pretty absorbed but I’ll have hot cider on the stove and plenty of cookies….Yes, Monkey, including those chocolate banana ones…

sniff….snark……Bev, please make it stop….I really cant get sick or the flu right now…….oh crud, the crud is coming on…I feel it….aaaccchhhhhooooooooooooooo

Sure, Bev….

Listen, I was thinking….The day you’re leaving is, you know….well…. might be,,, the gosh darn end of the world…not that I believe it.

We’re gonna have an End-of-the-World party here on Ballard St….Some are saying “just in case” but I’m with those saying “No, but what the heck…. any excuse for a party!”Be that as it may….I wanna keep an eye out for any parts that disappear….so couldja please be sure to contact us some time…I mean…. just to tell us the world is OK where you’re traveling, too?

Linda… you can have the appointment right after Bev….Bev…. does 1:23 work for you on Friday?Then I could give Linda 3:12…

maybe a little sooner…. like, oh…. 2:57….but I prefer to take my time with polish.

You guys just let me know, OK?Oh…. and yes, Bev…. thanks for passing the good word.

Only not if you’re still sneezing Linda…. I’m susceptible… sorry.

I wanna take this puppy home….I gots lots of milkbones with his name on then….btw, what is his name??…..

SusanSunshine said, 7 minutes ago

Linda… you can have the appointment right after Bev….Bev…. does 1:23 work for you on Friday?Then I could give Linda 3:12

yah, you betcha….

turning pc off now…and me too…katrinka wants to cuddle…. so does george……..my animals rule my world……

Thanks Essex. I’ll give it a try tomorrow when I have some time to experiment. Tonight and after the tern, it’s going to be hit and run in the comments section since I’ve got an early appointment in the AM.

Bev! Tomorrow or Thursday is fine…I thought you meant you wanted a Friday appointment when you said “Maybe before I leave on Fri?” But now I realise you probably meant before Friday altogether.LOL… the simplest words can cause confusion!Especially for me, it seems… sigh….

I mean’t after the turn not after the bird. Boy I wish we had an Edit button.Fenton, make me a VERY large Margarita made with that good Oaxacan Mezcal I brought in. You know my recipe. Cointreau NOT Triple Sec, shaken not blended. Good man ! I usually just like it straight but tonight is a kind of Margarita night. I’ve had a rough day. You know what they say: Para todo mal, el mezcal y bebida de todo lo bueno así !( For everything bad, mezcal and drink it for everything good, also ! )

I love peanut butter….. not sure I want it on a burger, but I’d be willing to try it cos I adore Thai peanut sauce in meat dishes…Oooh peanut sauce might be good on a burger, too…not sure about on a bun….

In any case, that picture reminded me that I’m hungry … almost 10 pm here and I haven’t had dinner. A big pile of yak ribs sounds great!But I think I have to use up what I have left over at home….it’s good too, though.

Ess…. we definitely should have Oreos at the EOTW party….which BTW will slide right into the Day After the End OTW party at midnight….I mean, there are no predictions for the world ending on the 22nd!

Fenton, that goes on my tab, as does Bevs and Susans….are you off soon sugar?….yes, we need to go home….oh and yes sweetie, put one down for Red as well, he will be in soon, and a double for Briatollah…and make it the good stuff for both of them…and anything Linguist wants and or needs as well….and you know your boss can have anything he wants…call the BS cab would ya hon?…thanks sugar…..

Susan, my son and grandson will be here at 4, so we gotta finish before then….and my daughter in law and I will be making Linguist’s moonshine the next day….gotta love the archives huh?….night all…for real….

Linda … since Bev’s not coming Friday you can have her 1:23 appointment…. or Thursday… up to you.

I’m busy at Christmas time but I make it work.

Linguist…. just did this for you….

LOL.. No time to post, of course… but I can’t resist playing with pictures.

Looks to me like an instance of spontaneous sock combustion. It’s known in the insurance underwriting business as “sponsocktion.” You can google it. Or it could potentially be a shoe explosion which, in turn, ignited the socks. Either way, absent a booby-trap of some kind, Neal is going to have to head home and acquire some new foot gear. If it’s that HOT outside, you may want to just stay indoors.

One of the inventors of this https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrocellulose tried to color cotton…

Here’s some similar music: https://cleoandcompany.net/december-18-2022/

Good morning Balladeers, (((((Plods))))) and Miss Susan.

I bet that’s the last time he tries nitrocellulose socks. :)