Beardo by Dan Dougherty for July 04, 2017

Come to One-Eyed Larry’s for all your pyrotechnic needs and desires! We have black cats, Roman Candles, screaming mimis, lady fingers, fuzz buttles, snicker bombs, church burners, finger blasters, gut busters, zippity do das, spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don’ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers (with or without the scooter stick), and whistlin’ kitty chasers.

(Nod to Joe Dirt for the fireworks list.)

They’re selling six for the price they would charge for six instead of what they would have charged for only one.

They cost an arm and a leg.

Ha!

If they’re selling at the same mark-up that furniture gets, then they’re still pulling a profit.

Ah, but five what? ☺

sounds like they might remove your extremities , fingers, toes, arms, ect. or else they are extreme enough that they might.

All fireworks are a five finger discount if you’re careless enough!