Big Nate by Lincoln Peirce for November 21, 2003

There are no bad dogs, only bad owners. Dogs are beautiful creatures that we are capable of destroying, but none of them are born bad. Cats, however, are certified jerks from fetushood on. Any love you sense from a cat is projected entirely on them, or because of the camaraderie you feel with their general disdain for life and human beings. Cats are just waiting for us to die, so they can eat our yummy faces and have free range of the furniture.