Bloom County by Berkeley Breathed for September 02, 2022

Maybe you can learn something…

Opus perched on the toilet. LOL

Cannibals or 300 Elvis impersonators. Hmmm, I think I’ll go with the cannibals.

At least she’s getting this out of the way early on instead of two weeks before the wedding.

She’s rather fetching pressed up against the translucent shower door like that.

And she has monogrammed towels!

When I met my husband I was also seeing a guy named Steve. We were all in this big friend group. One time we were all together. My husband & another friend went out to get pizza; Steve & I went out to sit on the balcony to wait…just sitting with our arms around each other. When Hub & friend came back, I looked up as they came in (the balcony was right next to the back door)…and I suddenly felt guilty. I felt it so bad that Steve felt it & took his arm off my shoulders. A few days later we were all together again. Steve said to Hub that he wanted them to go outside, & ordered everyone else (especially me) to stay inside. Hub thought that he would have to fight. They got outside, Steve held out his hand & said, “The best man has already won.” Steve & my husband stayed friends for years. (Oh, and this weekend marks my husband’s & my 37th anniversary.)

Back when I was single I was going out with a devastatingly hot red head (she was dumb as a post which is why it didn’t last) and one night we were at a bar in New Rochelle. I went to get drinks and when i came back a guy was talking to her.

No surprise and when he realized she was with someone he was really cool but his intro line was that he was Howard Stern’s “Jingle B***S” A man who could play the piano with his ‘member’

All I could think was 1) that’s the best you can say about yourself and 2) I assume alcohol was involved when you found out you had this talent.

Opus, don’t worry, I’m sure this gentleman is homely and out of shape.

Mimes . . .

Steve Dallas . . .

Did she mention Bart was also a walrus? Maybe she should…

Steve Dallas?

On the virgin – sl*t meter, I’d say she’s pegged to the right

I was in Vegas one time watching an open Elvis impersonator contest in Downtown Vegas. The most impressive part was the back-up band that played any Elvis song in any style, tempo and key.

Interesting in that is a glass shower door. Maybe this relationship has progressed farther than we thought, or Opus is totally clueless.

A conventionally attractive lady at work married a guy like Bart several years ago, and I think about this particular story arc all the time ever since then

Hitler or my girlfriend’s ex? Tough call.

Redundant — a dozen Elvi would do the trick. (OK, what do YOU think plural of “Elvis” is?!)

300 Elvis impersonators, the horrors!

Opus, can you say insecurity?! Lola is Your Girl now. Chill, bro….

Fred Waterford?!!!