Breaking Cat News by Georgia Dunn for January 18, 2023

“If you move at all under the covers, I will consider it a personal insult!”

Elvis, you’re kind of defeating your purpose here! Goldie, I appreciate how you want to protect the man, but that would also be defeating your purpose. Puck, I love your little white locket. Lupin, be the leader and be the first to go to sleep. The rest will follow!

The cats are sweet to try to help. They have no idea how disruptive they’re actually being to the good nights sleep the man and woman need! They’re too excited about moving day.

Don’t be a wuss, Man. Grab him by the scruff of his neck and yeet him across the room.

Buttercup is a ragdoll who is not even a year old yet and already outweighs my adult cats. She likes to hold my feet down while I sleep to make sure I don’t fall. Very helpful, thank you Butters.

Good to see that the cats have The People’s best interests at heart.

What would you call the look on the Man’s face? Horrified? Frightened? Astonished?

Guardian Goldie!

Feline logic.

My Gracie will actually come and get me to tell me it’s bedtime! First it’s subtle hints of meowing at me and starting to walk towards the bedroom, then she gets that catitude look and heads for the bed on her own. This is then shortly followed by an approach much more resembling Elvis’ look in panel three. I never let it get to the panel four look. I know who is the boss of me.

Whelp Elvis is going to be haunting my nightmares later. The man should just.. be used to this by now.

Suddenly Blossom’s nightly antics make sense!

Goldie might do it just for fun.

We’re lucky. When we head for bed, the cats go as well, finding spots between us to get petted from us both. The resulting purrs put us to sleep. They love to cuddle at night.

I love cat logic.

Come on, Man. Obey Elvis. You need enough sleep so that you don’t accidentally drop Tommy and Sophie’s People’s equivalent of the deskretarial. “#@*!!”

Meanwhile, Back on the Nile

Ta-Natash: Go away, Desert Rats, unless you want to mess with a warrior mouse.

Tabith-Isis: And I have a red dot for any contingency.

Azibo: Wait a minute, ladies! That’s not what we’re here for.

Amen-Thief: We gave up highway robbery after it proved too troublesome. Not to mention unprofitable.

Tash: Go on.

Amen-Thief: We had to deal with warriors, skunks, as well as feisty kittens.

Azibo: Yeah. Have you ever been hit with a polydactyl paw?

Tabith-Isis: Alright. What are you doing now?

Azibo: We’ve become merchants. But we can’t mention what we sell.

Maat-Tilda: Can you give us an example?

Azibo: We have the finest cinnamon, cardamom, nutmeg, you name it.

Nezumi-San: Do you have any wasabi or bonito?

Amen: Yep. Finest anywhere.

Nezumi-San: Our Royal Chef Itame-San would love to have some…uh some of these.

Tillie: I’m sure Thomios would like some, too.

Tash: Let’s bargain.

Sometime Later

Azibo: You’re tough but fair.

Tillie: Here we are at the Midnight Oasis.

Vann: It’s been a long day. Kara and I are going to bed down for the night.

I can’t say I always understand this strip, perhaps because I’m a dog person, but I do enjoy it.

Nothing like someone commanding you to go to sleep to help you sleep. I know Goldie is bigger, but I am still uncertain if she could beat Elvis in a fight. He is, after all, the Siamese You Cannot Please.

Elvis is so helpful and loving.

Well, we’re moving on up to the East side

To a deluxe apartment in the sky

Moving on up to the East side

We finally got a piece of the pie

Fish don’t fry in the kitchen

Beans don’t burn on the grill

Took a whole lotta trying

Just to get up that hill

Now we’re up in the big leagues

Getting our turn at bat

As long as we live, it’s you and meTommy

There ain’t nothing wrong with that

Well, we’re moving on up to the East side

To a deluxe apartment in the sky

Moving on up to the East side

We finally got a piece of the pie

You know, Elvis, you would get better results if you curled up next to the man and purred instead of growling.

If you know what’s good for you, Man, just close your eyes and pretend to sleep even if you aren’t sleepy.

I’ve been woken up by cats fighting directly on top of me. Not my best night’s sleep.

The Man knows that any attempts to hide under the covers would be seen as preparation for an ambush, and dealt with accordingly.

The Man has a very tenuous relationship with Elvis at the best of times—after all, the Man sometimes thinks he deserves the Woman’s attention. The growly sound is truly terrifyfing!

That final panel resulted in prolonged and possibly painful laughing aloud.

No! No! Not the growly sound!

ROFL

He’s not kidding around, Man. GO TO SLEEP!!!

Panel three needs to be on a poster or tee-shirt.

Wake up and go to sleep!

Last night, I was tired and forgot to move my bag of Tasty Cake mini chocolate donuts from the couch. This morning, I found that one of my black devils had deemed the bag to be a fine bed. I now have one big blob of flattened chocolate donuts. Still delicious, just not very attractive to look at.

OT: Oliver had his vet’s appointment Monday. All is good. Had him scanned for a microchip- there is none, no surprise. We’re advised to keep him indoors for a week; Felix, unused to company of his own kind, is not happy with that arrangement and feline pleasantries have been exchanged, but no fur flew or blood drawn.

yes, we have those … incidents… in our bed, as well, but not very frequently, as we have a live-in “CAT POLICE” corgi who has a handle on violence.

Oh yeah – that’s helpful!

The growly sound? Yes, that’s helpful when one tries to fall asleep ;) Elvis’ face in the last panel is so funny for some reason. But also cute. Like these comics always are

Cats helping. They are thoughtful.

OT:

I see he still tolerates the man.

At least he has Goldie in his corner. Not sure that’s a good thing at this point.

A) Goldie dear, that really won’t help. B) Man, my advice to you would be to pretend to be asleep until you actually do fall asleep

OT: Advice needed—our kittens are decimating our legs

Nooo! This isn’t right. Cats don’t help us fall asleep. They wake you up. Every. Single. Time.

Penny unfailingly informs me when it’s bedtime, usually by patting me on the side and letting her claws prick through my shirt. That’s her way of saying, “Mama, shut OFF the computer and GO TO BED so you can cuddle me to sleep!”

When she just wants cuddles, she’ll pat me on the side with no claws included. :)