Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for March 22, 2022

Probably when he’s walking up the steps to his room, Calvin will be struck by l’esprit de l’escalier — the wit of the staircase.

Yeah, just think it over…..

“Wimp!” coming from the guy who target’s shorter people.

Why not call Moe nothing at all, otherwise you’ll be shoved to the ground again.

If you don’t stand up to him, this will be a recurring theme

Calvin can use tonight’s retort the next time he encounters Moe. (Or not.)

Figure out the retort and practice it in front of the mirror a number of times. You should remember it the next time you need a fast retort.

Stay turned for the witty comeback. Same Calvin time, same Calvin channel!

Calvin, engaging in a battle of wits with this un-armed opponent could prove hazardous to your health.

How many times has Moe been in the first grade ?

That happens to me too. I find that whenever I need a good retort that I always remember I had left my best retorts stand back in the chemistry lab.

Sometimes you stand up for yourself and get smacked again. Sometimes you don’t and still get smacked, and platitudes about ’he’ll get his one day’ just don’t ease the pain from the hits on the body or the soul. Some bullies don’t change.

What has changed is the difference in bully behavior between my years in school [1940-54} and when I was a classroom teacher [1970-1997]. Over time bullies began to operate in gangs instead of solo, and would take on teachers or administrators when they stepped in. And, from what I read, gang dominance is stronger than ever.

A solid educations is still the best basis for one’s future. It’s just harder to get there from here.

So—the “boy of destiny” is helpless before the playground bully!!

In one strip, Hobbes was able to scare Moe away.

Should Calvin bring Hobbes to school every day??

Nah, Ms. Wormwood probably wouldn’t approve of a “personal bodyguard”!!

BTW, there’s a movie called MY BODYGUARD, about a high-schooler who hires a tough guy to protect him from bullies.

I never saw it, though.

I’ve got one for you, Calvin. When he says “Wimp”, you answer “Blimp”.

Today’s strip is an answer to those who say the bullying strips have been removed from the reruns.

In this case, better never than later!

What’s your favorite and least favorite Calvin and Hobbes collection? (Not counting the complete collection or treasuries) My favorite collection is Something Under The Bed is Drooling and my least favorite collection is The Revenge Of The Baby-Sat

Know how you feel, ‘Calvin’, that is the way I’ve gone through life—-usually(at least)2 days late and a bare minimum of 5 dollars short ! ! ! !

There was one witty retort I wish I had thought of in time.

I was a student pilot and on the back side of a loop. Air traffic control asked me for my altitude, heading and airspeed.

I wish I had the wit to say, “Rapidly decreasing, straight down and rapidly increasing respectively.”

I’m booking your flight to Akron.

of course, coming up with that sharper retort now might not be the best of outcomes.

unless you’d like another trip to the ground.

Calvin is right. The best ones always come significantly later.

I feel your pain, Calvin, I feel your pain…

a day late and a dollar short, ah life

The good old “I shoulda saids.”

Hey Mo – the jerk store is calling and they’re running out of you!

Works the same why in Marriage calvin.

Very, very relatable.

Funny how all the people who think that Calvin should be beaten or drugged into conformity are quiet when it comes to Moe. Maybe they see him as a kindred spirit?

I know the feeling. But what really, really bugs me is I’ll not remember that retort the next time either!

My residual Spanish skills are like that. The next day I realize that I had told the little Spanish girl to go to the phone and call herself her mother.

Isn’t it always that way.

Yep that’s me. The next day I’ve got the perfect retort.

oh yeah… sometimes I come up with great retorts days later when I’ve thought I had totally forgot an incident

Oh, I know what that’s like with the fourth panel, when my brain comes up with what I SHOULD have said to my parents if they seem to try and outsmart me.

Parents:Reflect on your actions before we ground you.

Actually, it usually takes only a few seconds….. too late to be of any value.

You think a witty comeback would do some good?

Watterson is a master at expressions.

Calvin learns “l’esprit de l’escalier.”

“Well, the jerk store called, and they’re running out of you!”

Like is that your hair or a dead skunk on your head?

That’s life Calvin. You will always have a better response after you have time to think about it.

ah, l’esprit de cavalier…

I know it as the l’esprit de l’escalier which translates as the wit of the stairwell, or stairwell wit. Basically the witticism that comes to mind after you have left

It is not so great how our schools seem to be a haven of social Darwinism. I get kids have to prepared for life, but this is ridiculous.

Moe is a jerk… but isn’t he just some of Calvin’s karma?

Putin strikes again.

Years later in high school…

A teenage Calvin opens a car door

Calvin: “Hey you, get your damn hands off her..”

Moe: “I think you got the wrong car, Twinky.”

Susie: “Calvin, help me, please!”Moe: “Just turn around, wimp, and walk away.”Susie: “Calvin, please!”

Moe: “Are you deaf, Twinky? Close the door and beat it.”

Calvin: “No Moe, you leave her alone.”

Moe: “All right wimp, you are asking for it, and now you’ll get it.”

Moe gets out of car, starts twisting Calvin’s arm and laughing uproariously

Susie: “Moe, stop! You are hurting him!”

Moe keeps laughing. Calvin’s face first shows pain, then anger. His free hand contorts. Moe continues laughing. Calvin makes a fist, then aims it at Moe’s face.

POW!!!

Moe doubles over

Calvin: “Are you OK?”

Susie: “Yes, thank you.”

Calvin helps Susie to her feet. As they walk in arm in arm to the dance; classmates run to see what was the fight.

Girl: “Who is that guy?”

Boy: “That is Calvin.”

Reminds me of an old issue of MAD which was titled “Only in the Middle of the Night…”

*…does a dripping faucet show us how effective the “Chinese water torture” must have been.

*…can hunger pangs grow so severe we are willing to eat the only thing on hand in the pantry; uncooked pasta.

*…do we think of the clever retort to the idiot who cut us off in traffic that day.

*…are we filled with inconsolable grief that our parents would not let us keep the stray puppy that followed us home one day in 1982.

*…do we recall that the dress we put back on the rack was much more flattering that the one we bought.

*…are we enlightened with the answers to the final exam we took 12 hours ago.

*…are we certain we will go insane if we cannot remember the name of the little dog on the TV show Petticoat Junction.

bully with a bad comb-over?? who does that remind me of???