Cathy Classics by Cathy Guisewite for March 06, 2022
March 05, 2022
March 07, 2022
Transcript:
Saleswoman: Hello. I'm Mabel. I'll be your pamperologist today. Cathy: Pamperologist? Saleswoman: Your dermo-flatterist. Your aesthetician. Your guide to the new world of cosmeceuticals. Cathy: Cosmeceuticals? Saleswoman: Part cosmetics... Part pharmaceuticals... Age-defying skincare goes scientific! The products have all-new, medical-sounding goals: "Cell renewal" "Hydration restoration" "Pore minimization"... Medical-sounding ingredients: "Alpha hydroxy acids" "Beta hydroxy complex" "Collagen boosters" "Enzymes"... Medical-sounding delivery systems: "Serum" "Capsules" "Emollients" "Micro-prisms"... Which area of epidermal care may I and my cabinet of sleek, hypoallergenic therapies assist you with? Cathy: Gift with purchase! Saleswoman: $23 million in research, and all anyone really wants is a giftoligist.
(to the tune of Chim Chim Cheree)When I see an ad that can’t be understood/
I know that the product has got to be good/
Those words may be crazy, but I think they’re great/
Like sodium acetylsalicylate!
I’ve lived all my life in this weird wonderland/
I keep buying things that I don’t understand/
’Cause they promise me miracles, magic, and hope/
But, somehow, it always turns out to be soap/
And they might as well be Chim-Chiminey Cheree!