Close to Home by John McPherson for November 27, 2022

I’m pretty sure nobody will want to smell someone’s breath over the phone. Read their mind maybe.

50 years? We are saying that now about phones anyway…

I’m gonna have to try that one on my grandkids…“One phone for the whole house? Attached to the wall?” They’ll never believe me.

And dialing didn’t involve pushing buttons.

I tell my stories to the grandkids and my wife complains they are repeats. I decided to write all my stories and index them. Then I plan to have them stored in the cloud with a program that randomly selects a story and texts the story to each grandkid every month or so. But the program does not execute until after my death.

And the operator’s name was Sara….”Hello Sara, get me Floyd..”

Timing’s all wrong. Let’s say Gramps is 90. That means he was born in 1960. To really remember using the phone, he’d have to be about 10, so he’s describing 1970, when lots of families had a “children’s line” and there were lots of extensions, and many a teenage girl had a princess phone in her bedroom.

Why wait until 2050?

and you had to use a finger to dial it……..

Don’t forget the part about walking 10 miles up hill both ways, in the snow, to get to the phone. (Yea, that’s a BIG house)

I still have two landlines and they will have to yank them from my dead hands before I give them up! ☺️☺️☺️

The first phone I remember was attached to the wall and it was wood. Everyone within 10 miles could listen in. I still have that phone on the wall of my office and it would still work to receive calls if I hooked it up – no “number please” please though.

Pro Sleeping Tip: If you are one of the many people that fall asleep by listening to music using headphones (or earbuds), and you’ve lost them, then take a stethoscope and place the diaphragm end up against your speakers. However, before inserting the earpieces into your ears, be sure to lower the volume on your music source to a level that would allow safe sleep. Now… if you’ve lost your stethoscope, then this tip won’t help you.

I’m >already< an old man. And I can state with certainty that it’s pathetic to watch a couple sit less than an arm’s length from each other, never once make eye contact, and text to each other.

Oddly enough, it seems to me that Grandpa’s, over the years, have usually had it bad back in the ‘good ol’ days’ but refuse to use the good stuff these days.

Dang – my iPhone must be seriously outdated! Smell each other’s breath and read each other’s minds? Time for a new phone!

You had to walk over to the tv to change the channel & there were only 3 choices.

That’s today, not 2050

Ahh, the good ole days. And people actually ANSWERED their phones!

Ahh, the good ole days…people actually ANSWERED their phones! And no spammers!

Try 2023…..

For that long ago he should be the great-grandfather.

And we had to share that line with the neighbors.

“… and we couldn’t do our own Colonoscopies either!!!”

I figured I’d tell my grandkids of the time when the cellphone had only one button and we were actually able to drive cars instead of self drive

And Nevada and Ohio weren’t coastal states!

You also shared the line with several neighbors (party line)

We didn’t have a phone until I was in High School. Circa 1962

Well, when our fireplace went out I had to walk 2 miles to the next house to get some hot coals to restart our kitchen fireplace. Wait, that was 1640. Times do change!

After 900 robo calls in one year – we went to cell phones only.

The idea of breath smells disgusts and creeps me out.