Close to Home by John McPherson for April 12, 2023

The toddler should be in a car seat and nowhere near french fries.

talk about distracted driving…

I know what comes after “F.”

Is that a bleebe?

So realistic.

i keep a knife for such emergencies

Smack the kid for wasting french fries. Or missing your mouth.

They should be testing for: how your level of tolerance relates to the total number of idiots that pull out in front of you… and you’re the ONLY car coming.

Bleeb seems to have gotten the yellow scared right out of him! … that or those French Fries are backin’ up on him… Yeesh!

DMV would promote children being properly restrained in a car seat, so the fries have to be hitting the back of the head.

“But I don’t have kids!!!”

DON’T MAKE ME STOP THIS CAR!!!

How about the cell phone that keeps ringing and you want to see who it is?

Screaming kids are what the car trunk is for. Geez people!

Oy!

Shouldn’t she be texting also?

And, out of the corner of your eye, you see a donut shop but you’re in the wrong lane..

How about testing for patience level when stuck behind a @#$#!!! Prius in the fast lane?

Vision? You mean my ability to hold back on strangling?

Product placement?

If you turn away and look down to yell at the kid you fail or if you’re really driving – CRASH!…

Bleeb looks a little pale today, probably can’t handle the screaming kid.

Hurry up and grab a french fry Bleeb, remember the 5-second rule.

Think fast…food!

Bleeb! Instead of waving, you should be grabbing those fries!