Close to Home by John McPherson for May 22, 2024

“Sorry sir! I’ll bring you the stake sandwich right away!”

“I vant a bite to eat!”

well … it’s a “surprise”, duh!

He would prefer a bloody Mary.

Stay for brunch.

A cheese assortment and crispy garlic toast rounds?

He just couldn’t SEE HIMSELF eating it!

May I suggest a hot cross bun?

May I suggest a stake?

What about a tequila sunrise?

At least it’s not the Sunrise Breakfast Café.

Hello bleeb good to see you

dude, chill! it was just a question.

No, Count, I guess not.

Comedians have to read the room, waiters just need to read one customer at a time.

Vlad is careful of what he eats, his health after all is at stake.

Hi, Bleeb. Better luck tomorrow!

Martha Stewart has a Halloween recipe called “Shoo Vampire Soup.” Unsurprisingly, it contains 5 bulbs of garlic.

“And bring me some beer! I don’t drink . . . wine!”

Ha! Bring me another bloody idiot.

OK, next time just call it Chef’s surprise, and let garlic be his surprise.

No, Bleeb. That’s not a doggy cone of shame around his neck. It’s a Hickey Hider. :)

Vamp ire.

Sheesh, someone got up on the wrong side of the coffin.

Blood pudding?

Better slip in some garlic because you my not like his tip.

Maybe Bleeb would like the Garlic Lovers Surprise?

He doesn’t have to be so cross about it.

Perhaps a fat juicy stake?

How about the Blood Pudding?

Almost looks like bleeb has fangs too.

Do vampires like Klingon blood wine?